Breaking Brad: A Gordon Lightfoot-for-Miley Cyrus swap! -
Published Thursday, February 20, 2014 at 10:55 am / Updated at 12:14 pm
Breaking Brad: A Gordon Lightfoot-for-Miley Cyrus swap!

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

* * * * * * * * * *

Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* A single ticket won Wednesday's $425 million Powerball jackpot drawing. The winner will receive a ceremonial 8-foot-by-12-foot check. We should use those huge checks to pay our MUD bills this winter.

* The winning lottery ticket was sold in Central California. Say, President Obama was just in Central California; it sounds like maybe he's come up with a way to fund Obamacare.

* Omaha's caught in a cycle of cold weather followed by warm weather, then cold and then warm. I have a new hobby: I stand in the middle of the street and watch potholes form before my eyes.

* Initially, the weather forecasters called for 1-3 inches of snow Thursday. That was changed to 3-5 inches. Then, the time frame was pushed back several hours. There's a new saying, "If you don't like the weather forecast in Nebraska, wait five minutes and it'll change."

* During the demolition and construction of the Crossroads Village, the Barnes and Noble store would have to close or relocate. This will pretty much leave the metro area with hundreds of thousands of people and two bookstores.

* Gordon Lightfoot will play the Holland Center on March 20. Grandparents, make a deal with the kids: You will take 'em to see Miley Cyrus, but they have to go to Gordon Lightfoot with you.

* According to, there's a 0.0398-percent chance the Husker men's basketball team makes the Final Four. Coincidentally, those are the same odds of my NCAA Tourney bracket beating The World-Herald librarian's bracket.

* A new "Robocop" movie is out. I'm beginning to think filmmakers are running out of fresh ideas. In this one, he fights Rocky.

* President Obama is in Mexico for the North American Leaders' Summit. Acrimony in Washington, D.C., is so bad, Republican leaders told him, "Have a good time in Mexico and drink lots of water."

* Michelle Obama gave some advice to Justin Bieber's parents on ABC. Let's hope the administration doesn't take on trying to fix Bieber. You think revamping the health-care system is challenging...

* If the Obamas can fix Bieber, peace in the Middle East should be a piece of cake.

* Columbus, Ohio, and Las Vegas are vying for the 2016 GOP convention. In Las Vegas, Republicans risk being linked to gambling and prostitution, but in Columbus, they'd be linked to something worse: the Ohio State football program.

* Columbus, Ohio, is a front-runner to host the 2016 GOP convention. The big concern is that Urban Meyer steps in front of the Republicans' choice and shouts: "I'll do it! I'll run for president!"

* Sen. Rand Paul said that unless Republicans adapt, Texas could become a blue state. I always thought that by the time Texas ever became a blue state, pigs would fly past the Capitol rotunda.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
Omaha crash victim, 19, had touched many lives
Firefighters take on 'fully engulfed barn fire'
Council Bluffs school board approves new district headquarters
Officials announce effort to lure more veterans to Nebraska
SB 132nd Street lane closed
Shane Osborn grabs several endorsements
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Man's body found near North 36th, Seward Streets
Omaha area may get 1 inch of rain tonight
Gov. Heineman vetoes bill to ease restrictions on nurse practitioners
Nebraska banking and finance director to retire
Waitress who served alcohol to teen before fatal crash gets jail time, probation
Owners of exotic dance bar deny prostitution allegations
More Nebraskans are electing to vote early
A day after Ricketts endorsement, Ted Cruz backs Sasse for Senate
TD Ameritrade says profit up 35 percent in second quarter
Some city streets remain closed
Nebraska's U.S. Senate candidates stick to familiar topics at Omaha forum
19-year-old killed in one-vehicle crash at 72nd & Shirley
8% of alcohol sellers checked in Omaha area last week sold booze to minors
OPS bus, SUV collide; no students onboard at the time
Lori Jenkins, charged as accessory in 4 murders, waives speedy trial
Iowa State servers hacked, nearly 30,000 SSNs at risk
< >
Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
The idea that Paul Hogan had studied and then hatched at his mother's table was that older people, rather than moving in with relatives or to an assisted-living center, would much prefer to stay home instead.
Breaking Brad: Nebraska GOP candidates unified against naked squirrels
Some of these Nebraska campaigns are tilting pretty far right. At a recent forum, there was a consensus that we need to ban public dancing and clothe naked squirrels in public parks.
Breaking Brad: Inside the mind of a 99-year-old real estate agent
I saw an article about a 99-year-old real estate agent who's still working. “This house is extra special. It has indoor toilets!”
Breaking Brad: Into the claw machine! Florida kid follows Lincoln kid's lead
In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., a child climbed inside a claw machine. Hey, Florida kid: Nobody likes a copycat.
Breaking Brad: Even Chuck Hassebrook's throwing mud!
The Nebraska campaigns have turned so ugly, Democrat Chuck Hassebrook lobbed unfounded accusations at an imaginary opponent.
Deadline Deal thumbnail
Tokyo Sushi
$5 for $10 or $10 for $20 toward All-You-Can-Eat Sushi Purchase
Buy Now
< >
Omaha World-Herald Contests
Enter for a chance to win great prizes.
OWH Store: Buy photos, books and articles
Buy photos, books and articles
Travel Snaps Photo
Going on Vacation? Take the Omaha World-Herald with you and you could the next Travel Snaps winner.
Click here to donate to Goodfellows
The 2011 Goodfellows fund drive provided holiday meals to nearly 5,000 families and their children, and raised more than $500,000 to help families in crisis year round.
Want to get World-Herald stories sent directly to your home or work computer? Sign up for's News Alerts and you will receive e-mails with the day's top stories.
Can't find what you need? Click here for site map »