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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Omaha's Venice Inn restaurant will close in May. It's been around so long, the photos on the wall of celebrities who've dined there include Lewis and Clark and Ponce de Leon.
* Wednesday night's Powerball Lottery jackpot could be worth $400 million. To put it in perspective, that's almost one-third what Pete Ricketts will spend on the Nebraska governor's race now that Jon Bruning has entered.
* The odds of any one ticket winning the lotto are equal to being struck by lighting while hang gliding over the White House in purple socks. Or something like that.
* A video of a bulldog who befriended kittens in Lincoln has gone viral. Thank goodness for this bulldog and a Denver QB shouting "Omaha, Omaha!" for putting eastern Nebraska on the map.
* Ironically, this bulldog has done more for the popularity of Lincoln than all the money spent by the Lincoln Chamber of Commerce the past 60 years.
* An escaped camel in Southern California attacked motorists in their cars. That's still better than having to deal with all the road work in Omaha.
* There's a nightmare commute. "How was the drive in, Steve?" "Fine, except for the part where the camel spit on me at the red light."
* Victoria's Secret asked a federal agency to cancel the trademark of the small, online Elkhorn retailer The Pink Store. Victoria's Secret will henceforth be known by its new moniker, "The Walmart of Teddies."
* Don't miss this weekend's "Squash The Little Guy" sale.
* Miley Cyrus has kicked off her North American Bangerz tour. This is for people who feel the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models are overdressed.
* There is a new theory that dogs can sniff out disease in humans. So, if you're looking for an accurate, affordable diagnosis, skip Obamacare and have your Pekingese smell you.
* Hillary Clinton told a friend in 1998 that Monica Lewinsky was a "narcissistic loony tune," according to a new report. Nowadays, that description would fit 90 percent of people working in Washington, D.C.
* Sen. Rand Paul has been accused of plagiarism again. If half these allegations are true, he copies more than Xerox Corp.
* I wouldn't say Hillary Clinton is getting cocky about her chances in 2016, but when Obama arrived at the North American Leaders' Summit in Mexico, she was already seated in his spot.
* A woman has been crowned "the queen of burps." If I was in charge of White House state dinners, she'd be seated directly to the president's left.
* An expert on the news explained that a ton of dung left in front of the French Parliament was likely a form of protest. I was pretty sure it wasn't a compliment.
* Do we need a political expert to conclude that a ton of dung is a negative?
* With the ton of animal dung, it resembled the lobby of a luxury Sochi hotel.