Breaking Brad: Take THAT, Pinnacle Bank Arena! - Omaha.com
Published Tuesday, February 11, 2014 at 10:38 am / Updated at 11:22 am
Breaking Brad: Take THAT, Pinnacle Bank Arena!

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* Justin Timberlake apparently played an amazing two-and-a-half hour show at CenturyLink Center Omaha on Monday. This kicked off the CenturyLink Center's new "Up Yours, Pinnacle Bank Arena" series.

* Nebraska gubernatorial candidate Jon Bruning said, "People who know me best know I'm at my happiest when I'm in jeans and boots, listening to country music." I wouldn't say Bruning is targeting the rural Republican vote, but he plans to cross the state on a John Deere tractor.

* Bruning was just fitted for his campaign overalls.

* Bruning appears to be targeting rural GOP voters in the Nebraska panhandle. At every Bruning campaign rally, there will be a drawing for a chance to hunt a mountain lion.

* Another sign Bruning may be targeting voters in the Panhandle: His campaign headquarters is atop Chimney Rock.

* The Ricketts family is expected to air some anti-Bruning ads. Well, they'll just use ones left over from when Bruning ran for Senate against Deb Fischer.

* I already cannot wait for that first debate between Bruning and seven members of the Ricketts family.

* A new app allows you to feed downtown Omaha parking meters from your smartphone. I have a better idea: an app that warns us when the parking police turn the corner, so we can run out of the office and feed said meter.

* A North Dakota farmer has become the first person convicted of a crime after an investigation by a drone. He should have caught on. How many drones are circling rural North Dakota? "I wonder if that's the cops? Nah..."

* President Obama hosts a state dinner Tuesday for the president of France. On Monday, the White House released the names and vintages of wine to be served with each course. With the economic condition of this country, attendees should be drinking Zima and Kool-Aid.

* Per tradition, President Obama will be seated between Joy Behar and Ryan Seacrest.

* Thursday's high temperature for Sochi is 63 degrees. It's so warm, the cross-country skiers are on jet skies.

* Let that sink in. On Monday in Omaha, it was about 60 degrees colder than the site of the Winter Olympic Games.

* Jeb Bush is weighing a run for president. If he does decide to run, Bush will be seeking the nomination of the Entitlement Party.

* A new video for Michelle Obama's "Let's Move!" campaign features LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh and Ray Allen. Chris "Birdman" Andersen was supposed to be included, but he couldn't get past the metal detector.

* Hillary Clinton recently criticized Fox News in a tweet. That's a sure sign she's running for president: not that she criticized Fox News, but that she's tweeting.

* A guy named Ryan Zinke, who's running for Congress in Montana, called Hillary Clinton "the anti-Christ." In the world we live in today, this guy may be a moderate.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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