Breaking Brad: Bet we're better than you at baseball, Norway! - Omaha.com
Published Tuesday, February 11, 2014 at 1:11 pm / Updated at 2:37 pm
Breaking Brad: Bet we're better than you at baseball, Norway!

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* Forecasters are issuing a "dire" snow and ice storm forecast for Atlanta. This is very bad for a city that can be brought to its knees by a little fog and high humidity.

* Justin Timberlake put on an amazing two-and-a-half hour show Monday night. We've come a long way from those Omaha "American Idol" auditions a few weeks ago.

* Guests at Tuesday's state dinner will dine on "aged beef." It was aged during the time it takes to sign up for Obamacare.

* Guests will also dine on "American-made caviar." That's McNuggets, right?

* "The X Factor" has been canceled. One TV amateur singing contest down, about 77 to go.

* Two men set a world record by watching TV nonstop for 87 hours at a Vegas electronics store. The combined IQ of the men is 140 points lower than before they started.

* The George Zimmerman-DMX celebrity boxing event has been canceled. Too bad. After two weeks of these Olympics, it would have been nice to see a real sport again.

* In the Winter Olympic Games medal count, Norway, Canada, the Netherlands, and Germany are all ahead of the U.S. When do pitchers and catchers report for spring training again?

* In Sochi, temperatures are in the sixties. During alpine skiing, two competitors almost drowned.

* Oklahoma State's Marcus Smart is in hot water for shoving a Texas Tech fan. People in Lubbock immediately said, "Even Bobby Knight didn't do that."

* The Flying Tomato just made his debut at this year's Winter Olympics. Thousands of Russians were disappointed to learn the Flying Tomato is Shaun White, not fresh produce.

* Most of the time Olympic curlers sort of stand around, taking up space. It's basically the Occupy movement on ice.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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COLUMNISTS »
Kelly: A California university president returns to her Nebraska roots on Ivy Day
The main speaker at today's Ivy Day celebration at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln is a college president who grew up roping calves and earned her Ph.D. at the prestigious Oxford University in England.
Breaking Brad: Stuck in a claw machine? You get no Easter candy
I know of one kid in Lincoln who will be receiving a lump of coal from the Easter Bunny, just as soon as he's extricated from that bowling alley claw machine.
Breaking Brad: Mountain lion season's over, but the bunny's fair game!
Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
Breaking Brad: How many MECA board members can we put in a luxury suite?
As a stunt at the Blue Man Group show, MECA board members are going to see how many people they can stuff into one luxury suite.
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