Breaking Brad: Bad news for Pete Ricketts... -
Published Monday, February 10, 2014 at 12:01 am / Updated at 12:00 pm
Breaking Brad: Bad news for Pete Ricketts...

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* Adidas is sticking with Justin Bieber as an endorser. How bad does Lance Armstrong feel now?

* In Milwaukee, a Stradivarius violin worth $8 million that was stolen has been recovered. The Milwaukee police dept. made solving this case its second highest priority right after finding the missing beer truck.

* Someone in Milwaukee stole a Stradivarius violin worth millions. A disinterested American public yawned and said “Let us know if anyone takes Selena Gomez’ microphone.”

* All the Super Bowl commercials were ranked best to worst. It’s nice to see we’ve already found something for the BCS committee to do.

* The new “Star Wars” movie takes place so far into the future, Wichita State has lost a game.

* I believe the Globetrotters have lost more recently than Wichita State.

* Vladimir Putin will allow Edward Snowden to attend the Winter Olympics. I understand Snowden is planning to issue proof that nobody really knows what a “salchow” is and that it’s just a made up word.

* Because the Winter Olympics is in Russia, instead of a gold medal local organizers will present winners with something more valuable - a potato and a roll of toilet paper.

* The Phoenix Coyotes are being renamed the Arizona Coyotes. Hey, whatever it takes. It can’t be easy selling a sport played on ice to a populace where 102 degrees is considered a cooling trend.

* At a sanctuary in England penguins are being given anti-depressants to help them cope with the dreary winter weather. This is when you know it's been a rough winter - Arctic penguins can't cope.

* Maybe if there are any leftover antidepressants they can be air-dropped over Omaha.

* I saw a guy complete a triple axle, a reverse figure eight and a salchow. And that was an Omaha commuter driving to work in the snow last week.

* NBC's editing of the Winter Olympics opening ceremony caused a firestorm on Twitter. Now to be fair, it's rare that 11 seconds passes without a new firestorm on Twitter.

* Video of a U.S. bobsledder kicking down the door of the bathroom he got locked in has gone viral. Remember when we used to hear inspirational tales of Olympic athletes escaping from Communist regimes?

* Bad news for Pete Ricketts — Jon Bruning is still in the race for governor.

* Competitors in the Westminster Kennel Club Show are judged based on gait, coat and personality. It's the same way we choose of presidents.

* Atlanta is bracing for another round of winter weather. You know what that means. The town snowplow is being removed from its blocks.

* Creighton lost to St. John's Sunday night due to poor free throw shooting. It's just too bad for Creighton that the free throw line isn't 40 feet from the basket.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

State Department moves to delay Keystone XL pipeline decision
Omahan charged in fatal shooting in Benson neighborhood
Friday's attendance dips at Millard West after bathroom threat
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
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High court denies death row appeal of cult leader convicted of murder
Haze in area comes from Kansas, Oklahoma
Man taken into custody in domestic dispute
Omaha judge reprimanded for intervening in peer attorney's DUI case
Intoxicated man with pellet gun climbs billboard's scaffold; is arrested
Police seek public's help in finding an armed man
Saturday forecast opens window for gardening; Easter egg hunts look iffy on Sunday
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Last day of 2014 Legislature: Praise, passage of a last few bills and more on mountain lions
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
A voice of experience: Ex-gang member helps lead fight against Omaha violence
Church is pressing its case for old Temple Israel site
OPPD board holding public forum, open house May 7
The thrill of the skill: Omaha hosts statewide contest for students of the trades
A recap of what got done — and what didn't — in the 2014 legislative session
When judge asks, Nikko Jenkins says ‘I killed them’
Nancy's Almanac, April 17, 2014: Trees save money
'The war is not over,' Chambers says, but legislative session about is
PAC funded by Senate candidate Ben Sasse's great-uncle releases Shane Osborn attack ad
Teen killed at Gallagher Park was shot in head as he sat in SUV, friend who was wounded says
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I know of one kid in Lincoln who will be receiving a lump of coal from the Easter Bunny, just as soon as he's extricated from that bowling alley claw machine.
Breaking Brad: Mountain lion season's over, but the bunny's fair game!
Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
Breaking Brad: How many MECA board members can we put in a luxury suite?
As a stunt at the Blue Man Group show, MECA board members are going to see how many people they can stuff into one luxury suite.
Kelly: Creighton's McDermotts put good faces on an Omaha tradition
A comical roast Wednesday night in Omaha brought fans of Creighton basketball laughter by the bucketful. This time it was McJokes, not McBuckets, that entertained the Bluejay crowd.
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