Breaking Brad: Katy Perry wants to discuss space aliens with Obama - Omaha.com
Published Monday, February 3, 2014 at 12:01 am / Updated at 12:43 pm
Breaking Brad: Katy Perry wants to discuss space aliens with Obama

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

* * * * * * * * * *

Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* Fremont Republican Charlie Janssen has withdrawn the Nebraska gubernatorial race. Which was a huge shock to me since I had no idea Charlie Janssen was in the Nebraska gubernatorial race.

* On Sunday, thousands of Americans braved cold weather to see the groundhog pulled from his hole. If the groundhog ever relocates from rural Pennsylvania to Hawaii, count me in.

* Over the weekend, the Peyton Manning penguin at the Henry Doorly Zoo & Aquarium began posting on Facebook. Imagine being the zoo employee called in to work on Super Bowl Sunday for this?

* Did you see Joe Namath's coat at the Super Bowl? He looked like he got lost on his way to the Iditarod.

* The game was so bad that first thing Monday morning the Chamber of Commerce asked Peyton Manning to stop saying "Omaha."

* I learned a lot from the Super Bowl commercials. For starters, apparently men are really, really dumb.

* How about that Bruno Mars' drum solo? I've seen Sen. Ted Cruz filibusters that took less time.

* The Super Bowl featured a team from Washington state vs. a team from Colorado – and the Jamaican bobsled team qualified for the Winter Olympics. It's officially the Year of the Recreational Marijuana Advocate.

* How about all that trash talking and taunting on Sunday? Of course I'm referencing President Obama's interview with Bill O'Reilly.

* Before the Super Bowl, President Obama was grilled by Bill O'Reilly. Some tough questions. At one point Obama asked if he could go back on “The View” and reveal his favorite flavor of ice cream.

* President Obama just sat down for a tough interview with Bill O'Reilly. The questions were so difficult I believe at one point Obama leaned over and whispered to an aide, "Book me on 'The Talk' next time."

* I'm beginning to think Obama is too into television. After one O'Reilly question Obama asked if he could phone a friend.

* On “Meet The Press,” Sen. Rand Paul discussed a recent Vogue magazine article in which he criticized Bill Clinton for “predatory behavior” regarding Monica Lewinsky. This pretty much amounts to a formal declaration by Paul that he's running for president.

* The only thing missing is he didn't say this while standing in an Iowa cornfield.

* Katy Perry said she wants to discuss space aliens with President Obama. Because she's a celebrity, Obama said he's willing to postpone the G20 summit for this alien discussion.

* A discussion on space aliens is still more meaningful than anything the current Congress has debated.

* Famed musical duo Captain & Tennille are divorcing after 39 years of marriage. “Love will keep us together” – well, apparently not.

* The Jamaican bobsled team has qualified for the Winter Olympics. To give you an idea of the odds, this is like Charles Barkley making the cut at the U.S. Open.

* The Miami Dolphins' stadium offers a new smartphone app that allows fans to see which beer line is the shortest. I don't think NASA is this technologically advanced.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archives here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

2 Norris students found with gun at school, OPS says; police probe incident
Oil industry ad campaign mocks Nebraska cowboys who protested Keystone XL pipeline
In Omaha, bus tour calls for hourly minimum wage over $10
Fremont police searching for missing 56-year-old man
Prosecutor: Baby might be alive if day care employer had spoken up
NRA seeks universal gun law at national meeting
Beau McCoy calls Pete Ricketts a 'convenient conservative' for immigration stance
Omaha senator seeks minimum wage ballot measure
Agreement reached to end dog racing at Bluffs Run at end of 2015
Police probe bank robbery
Man accused of trying to open flying plane's door pleads not guilty
Ben Sasse shifts tactics, calls ad by Shane Osborn 'hypocritical'
Forecast on the upswing after Thursday's rain
EB Harney Street lane closed
Ex-UNMC student loses appeal; claimed program didn't make accommodations for his depression
Grace: Your older self has a request — use sunscreen
At NU's helm, J.B. Milliken built the university by building relationships with state leaders
City's Personnel Board is behind ‘ban-the-box’ proposal
Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
Richard Paul Dreier, 90, was wounded in attack during WWII
Police issue arrest warrant in teen's shooting death
Kelly: Huskers' glory days of '80s live on — on the small screen and on stage
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Construction to start in May on West Broadway apartment/retail structure
< >
COLUMNISTS »
Breaking Brad: 117-mph riding lawnmowers and 12-scoop banana splits
The Chicago White Sox are selling a 12-scoop banana split inside a full-size batting helmet for $17. You know what you'd call someone in Chicago who'd eat this? "Health nut."
Breaking Brad: Walmart beats Russia, stakes a claim on the moon
Russia is claiming it owns a section of the moon. If you follow the news, you know this probably doesn't end well.
Kelly: Started at a dining room table, Home Instead thriving at 20 with $1B in annual revenue
The idea that Paul Hogan had studied and then hatched at his mother's table was that older people, rather than moving in with relatives or to an assisted-living center, would much prefer to stay home instead.
Kelly: Huskers' glory days of '80s live on — on the small screen and on stage
The 1984 NFL draft was unusual for the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and these days it's remembered in the name of a rock band, the 1984 Draft. Tonight, the band is featured on the NFL Network.
Breaking Brad: Nebraska GOP candidates unified against naked squirrels
Some of these Nebraska campaigns are tilting pretty far right. At a recent forum, there was a consensus that we need to ban public dancing and clothe naked squirrels in public parks.
Deadline Deal thumbnail
7M Grill
Half Off Delicious Comfort Fusion Food & Drinks!
Buy Now
PHOTO GALLERIES »
< >
SPOTLIGHT »
Omaha World-Herald Contests
Enter for a chance to win great prizes.
OWH Store: Buy photos, books and articles
Buy photos, books and articles
Travel Snaps Photo
Going on Vacation? Take the Omaha World-Herald with you and you could the next Travel Snaps winner.
Click here to donate to Goodfellows
The 2011 Goodfellows fund drive provided holiday meals to nearly 5,000 families and their children, and raised more than $500,000 to help families in crisis year round.
WORLD-HERALD ALERTS »
Want to get World-Herald stories sent directly to your home or work computer? Sign up for Omaha.com's News Alerts and you will receive e-mails with the day's top stories.
Can't find what you need? Click here for site map »