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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* Competitive eater Molly Schuyler of Bellevue defeated a group of men by eating 363 chicken wings in 30 minutes to win Wing Bowl 22 in Philadelphia. This sounds like someone who'd show up uninvited to my Super Bowl party. "She's on her 300th wing!"
* Omaha is preparing for weekend snow. With the lack of snow thus far this winter, over two tons of stored brine will be dumped upon our streets.
* There are going to be 8-foot brine drifts on Center Street. All brine must go.
* This is difficult to believe. We're double-checking, but at least so far, Justin Bieber has not been arrested once today.
* With USA Today's Ad Meter, viewers can vote on the best and worst commercials during the Super Bowl. This is sort of like a U.S. presidential election, only the American people are more passionate about their Super Bowl commercials.
* The Super Bowl will be broadcast on radio. Who's this for? People who haven't heard the game is on television?
* In Utah, a "prognosticating ape" picked Seattle to win the Super Bowl by knocking over a papier-mâché Seahawks helmet. Now, let me stress that this is unscientific.
* Don't forget: Amanda Knox trials in Italy are the best four out of seven.
* The State of the Union received its lowest TV ratings in 14 years. A jaded American public turned it off early on after it became obvious there wasn't one rose ceremony or Kardashian in sight.
* I attribute the ratings dip to President Obama being overexposed due to too many appearances on "The View."
* RNC Chairman Reince Priebus has threatened a Republican boycott of MSNBC. This would have an impact similar to if everyone in Albania boycotted the Longhorn Network.
* I believe this would mean the two Republicans currently watching MSNBC would have to stop.
* Hillary Clinton is planning a trip to California in April. The Obamas said: "Stay away from the celebrities. They're ours."
* A speed-skater from the Netherlands "flipped a double bird" after losing. I'm guessing we won't see this footage of NBC while Bob Costas waxes on "the Olympic dream."
* New Yorkers are now looking forward to Olympic speedskating more than they are the Super Bowl.
* A high-school basketball team in Pittsburgh includes four sets of twins, three of which are identical. It's a lot of fun for everybody except the play-by-play announcer who quit at halftime of their second game.
* NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has proposed eliminating extra points, meaning a touchdown will automatically count for seven points. That's crazy. Although I think you'll find a lot of support in Nebraska for eliminating punts.