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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* Rep. Michael Grimm (R.- N.Y.) reportedly threatened to throw a member of the media off a balcony at the State of the Union address. So, it looks like the Republicans have their front-runner in the 2016 presidential race.
* And Grimm has a better relationship with the media than most high-ranking Republicans.
* Sadly, on Fox News, a Republican threatening to throw someone off a balcony constitutes civilized debate.
* A Texas congressman who went missing for a couple of weeks claims he was testing the media. Considering the popularity of the current Congress, he was testing to see if anyone would look for him?
* President Obama visited a Costco in Maryland on Wednesday to restore courage in the U.S. economy. It backfired when Obama was turned down for a Costco card after his credit report showed a $14 trillion debt.
* Obama at Costco? Is that how you restore faith in the economy? For the president to be seen walking out of a store carrying 68 rolls of paper towels?
* President Obama will give his first post-State of the Union interview to CNN on Friday. CNN has so few viewers these days, Obama will be revealing NSA secrets secure in the knowledge only four people are watching.
* Justin Bieber has been arrested again, this time for allegedly assaulting a limo driver in Toronto. He's like the NAFTA of crime.
* Bieber has gone from teen heartthrob to intercontinental crime wave.
* Bieber has been arrested for the second time in a week. Lindsay Lohan and George Michael said: "He's good. Really good."
* Good luck topping your last mugshot, Justin.
* Oprah Winfrey celebrated her birthday on Wednesday. So, it was a national holiday, right?
* Shawn Eichorst has asked for $12.3 million for a sound system upgrade at Memorial Stadium. NU's Board of Regents is expected to OK raffling off the books from UNO's library.
* ESPN announcers reportedly flipped a coin to see who had to interview Gregg Popovich after a loss. OK, Husker football beat writers, the template has been set.
* A new "smart basketball" acts as a coach. It contains nine sensors that send instructions to an app on your iPhone or iPad. I'm just glad we're not taking the human element out of sport.
* At Super Bowl Media Day, Peyton Manning was asked if he has a favorite on "Real Housewives of New Jersey." So, it's nice to see the questions at Media Day have gotten tougher.
* Media Day is so silly, that question was posed by the reporter from Newsweek.
* At Media Day, Marshawn Lynch supposedly "snubbed" the media, which included a guy in a superhero costume and another asking questions about strippers. I'd like to take a moment to praise Lynch for his good judgment.