Breaking Brad: Nebraska's new slogan sure to include Peyton Manning - Omaha.com
Published Thursday, January 23, 2014 at 11:20 am / Updated at 3:28 pm
Breaking Brad: Nebraska's new slogan sure to include Peyton Manning

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* A plan by the Nebraska Tourism Commission to replace "The Good Life" as Nebraska's unofficial slogan caused a Twitter backlash. I haven't seen a backlash like this on Twitter since Kim Kardashian ordered a grilled cheese.

* "The Good Life" will soon be out as Nebraska's unofficial slogan. In: "We've Got a Penguin Named Peyton Manning."

* The Midlands International Auto Show is under way at CenturyLink Center Omaha. To give the show an Omaha feel, all the cars are covered in brine and parking tickets.

* I think it'll just be nice to see some cars in Omaha lined up and not have it be a detour.

* Nebraska officials are accepting nominations for the state's best U.S. history teacher. The winner gets $1,000. What's wrong with our world when our best teacher wins a grand, but you can go on "Wheel of Fortune" and be set for life?

* Standards are so low in history, that if every kid in your class can correctly name who's buried in Grant's tomb, you got a chance.

* On Thursday morning, the wind chill in parts of Omaha was -27 degrees. This winter in Omaha has been like living in a freezer stocked with orange traffic cones.

* It's been windy in Omaha lately. I thought I saw a group of geese flying in a perfect "V" formation overhead. They turned out to be garbage cans.

* At a wildlife park in South America, an elephant flipped over a car of tourists. While their car was in mid-air, the tourists said it was still better than having to deal with road construction in Omaha.

* Pizza Hut will sell pizza by the slice. This represents a greater sea change to the average American's way of life than Obamacare.

* Hillary Clinton looks to be the early front-runner in the Iowa caucuses. If you don't believe this is significant, just ask President Santorum.

* New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie took the oath of office for a second term with his hand on his enemies list.

* The NSA told Sen. Bernie Sanders it can't tell him whether it's spying on him because that would violate his privacy. This makes as much sense as anything that's happened in Washington, D.C., in the past year.

* President Obama will meet with the presidents of Mexico and Canada on Feb. 19. I believe it's the "Jealous Much?" summit.

* In Spokane, Wash., a man left his Chihuahua in his car when he ran into the store, only for the dog to somehow put the car in gear and drive down the street. The Chihuahua was actually a better driver than most Omahans.

* After seeing a Chihuahua behind the wheel, several residents of Washington state said, "I got to cut back on the recreational marijuana."

* Apparently the car was a Mini Cooper, and the Chihuahua later complained about the lack of head room.

* In her new music video, "Miley Cyrus bares all." You know the headline I'd rather see? "Miley Cyrus Picks Up A Book And Goes Back To School."

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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