Breaking Brad: What do Justin Bieber and the Japanese PGA have in common? -
Published Thursday, January 23, 2014 at 2:25 pm / Updated at 2:45 pm
Breaking Brad: What do Justin Bieber and the Japanese PGA have in common?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

* * * * * * * * * *

Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* At the National Zoo, baby panda Bao Bao has been "melting hearts." That's nice, Bao Bao, but it's time to step aside for a penguin named Peyton Manning. You've had your time.

* Justin Bieber has been arrested on suspicion of DUI and drag racing in Miami Beach. What's "drag racing" in Miami Beach? When you go 20 mph?

* President Obama has proposed putting 100,000 additional police officers on the streets just to control Bieber.

* I'd just like to see Bieber be told "you have the right to remain silent" before his next Omaha concert.

* Chris Christie's approval rating has dropped from 65 percent to 46 percent. It's falling faster than the mercury in Omaha.

* A new report says MTV's "16 and Pregnant" may have reduced the teen birth rate. Other shows have reduced the birth rate because couples don't want to raise a baby in a world where the Kardashians are popular.

* My message for MTV: Nice work. Now, do you think you could show an occasional music video?

* Tim Tebow now works for ESPN. You know the Obama jobs plan has turned the corner when even Tim Tebow is employed.

* Top officials with the Japanese PGA were linked to organized crime. Still, it has a better public image than the BCS.

* Iowa won a wrestling duel meet against Nebraska in Lincoln. In Iowa, this was like a Super Bowl, only with more interest.

* Quicken Loans is offering $1 billion to anyone with a perfect NCAA Tournament bracket. You thought you resented your co-worker who doesn't know what "Blue Devils" means winning the bracket before...

* You know Creighton basketball has arrived when Ethan Wragge knocks Richard Sherman off SportsCenter.

* The Pro Bowl is this weekend in Hawaii. The Super Bowl is next Sunday in New Jersey. This is the first time in history players have wanted to play in the Pro Bowl and not the Super Bowl.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archives here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
Crack ring's leaders join others in prison as a result of Operation Purple Haze
Omahan charged in fatal shooting in Benson neighborhood
High court denies death row appeal of cult leader convicted of murder
State Department moves to delay Keystone XL pipeline decision
Haze in area comes from Kansas, Oklahoma
Man taken into custody in domestic dispute
Omaha judge reprimanded for intervening in peer attorney's DUI case
Intoxicated man with pellet gun climbs billboard's scaffold; is arrested
Police seek public's help in finding an armed man
Saturday forecast opens window for gardening; Easter egg hunts look iffy on Sunday
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Last day of 2014 Legislature: Praise, passage of a last few bills and more on mountain lions
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
A voice of experience: Ex-gang member helps lead fight against Omaha violence
Church is pressing its case for old Temple Israel site
OPPD board holding public forum, open house May 7
The thrill of the skill: Omaha hosts statewide contest for students of the trades
A recap of what got done — and what didn't — in the 2014 legislative session
When judge asks, Nikko Jenkins says ‘I killed them’
Nancy's Almanac, April 17, 2014: Trees save money
'The war is not over,' Chambers says, but legislative session about is
PAC funded by Senate candidate Ben Sasse's great-uncle releases Shane Osborn attack ad
Teen killed at Gallagher Park was shot in head as he sat in SUV, friend who was wounded says
New UNO center strengthens ties between campus, community
< >
Breaking Brad: Stuck in a claw machine? You get no Easter candy
I know of one kid in Lincoln who will be receiving a lump of coal from the Easter Bunny, just as soon as he's extricated from that bowling alley claw machine.
Breaking Brad: Mountain lion season's over, but the bunny's fair game!
Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
Breaking Brad: How many MECA board members can we put in a luxury suite?
As a stunt at the Blue Man Group show, MECA board members are going to see how many people they can stuff into one luxury suite.
Kelly: Creighton's McDermotts put good faces on an Omaha tradition
A comical roast Wednesday night in Omaha brought fans of Creighton basketball laughter by the bucketful. This time it was McJokes, not McBuckets, that entertained the Bluejay crowd.
Deadline Deal thumbnail
The Jaipur in Rockbrook Village
Half Off Fine Indian Cuisine & Drinks! $15 for Dinner, or $7 for Lunch
Buy Now
< >
Omaha World-Herald Contests
Enter for a chance to win great prizes.
OWH Store: Buy photos, books and articles
Buy photos, books and articles
Travel Snaps Photo
Going on Vacation? Take the Omaha World-Herald with you and you could the next Travel Snaps winner.
Click here to donate to Goodfellows
The 2011 Goodfellows fund drive provided holiday meals to nearly 5,000 families and their children, and raised more than $500,000 to help families in crisis year round.
Want to get World-Herald stories sent directly to your home or work computer? Sign up for's News Alerts and you will receive e-mails with the day's top stories.
Can't find what you need? Click here for site map »