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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Nebraska State Sen. Scott Lautenbaugh has a proposal to sell MUD. Any way we can throw in OPPD and make it a package deal?
* The Weather Channel ranked Omaha as the fifth-coldest major U.S. city and Lincoln as the seventh-coldest. Gov. Heineman's State of the State address Wednesday will be delivered from atop a Zamboni.
* Omaha has a new city logo: an icicle.
* Peyton Manning's "Omaha! Omaha!" may have been a "dummy call." I'll pause while readers think up their own City Council jokes.
* In you're sick of hearing "Omaha!" after the Denver Broncos' game Sunday, listen to Gov. Dave Heineman's State of the State speech Wednesday. I'm pretty sure "Omaha" won't be mentioned once.
* According to a new study, bacon may reduce male fertility. With all the Bacon Fests in Omaha, this means, by 2025, our birthrate should be zero.
* An Iowa science teacher ate three meals a day at McDonald's for 90 days. He was going to eat school cafeteria food but wanted something more nutritious.
* He ate at McDonald's three times a day for 90 days and lost 37 pounds. I think this is a diet Americans can finally live with.
* There is a wind advisory for Omaha on Tuesday. It's so windy, a Southwest Airlines flight in Missouri was blown into the right airport.
* A Southwest Airlines flight landed at the wrong airport in Missouri. Because it's Southwest, the pilots' vision was obscured by a front-row passenger's foot extending into the cockpit.
* A Southwest spokesperson said the flight was supposed to land in Branson but landed only seven miles away. Hey, this isn't horseshoes.
* Southwest officials said, "At least we got the right state!"
* Due to a contract dispute, DirectTV customers are without The Weather Channel. So, I'll sum up The Weather Channel for you on most any day: "The weather is horrible! Expected flight delays lasting for years! It's Weather Armageddon, America!"
* The Weather Channel urged DirectTV customers to lobby Congress to keep it on the air. Because you have a cable TV company and Congress involved, this should be settled in 300 years.
* Congress has unveiled a $1.1 trillion spending bill. This is pretty ambitious for a group of people I wouldn't trust with a roll of bus tokens.