Breaking Brad: Hey, neighbor, have you seen my garbage can? -
Published Tuesday, January 14, 2014 at 1:54 pm / Updated at 2:25 pm
Breaking Brad: Hey, neighbor, have you seen my garbage can?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

* * * * * * * * * *

Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* The president of the Omaha Chamber of Commerce suggested having Peyton Manning do a promotional spot. Ironically, the Omaha Chamber of Commerce is the one entity left on Earth that Manning has yet to endorse.

* There's an explanation. When Manning shouts "Omaha! Omaha!" the offensive line is supposed to form an impenetrable wall of orange traffic barrels.

* A million dollar ticket was sold at the No Frills at 132nd Street and West Center Road. It sounds like someone's done bagging their own groceries.

* There's a wind advisory Tuesday in Omaha! Omaha! (I listened to Peyton Manning so much, I can't help doing that now.)

* If you set your garbage cans outside Monday night and haven't checked, they're probably on top of your neighbor's roof.

* N.J. Gov. Chris Christie was scheduled to deliver his State of the State speech Tuesday. Unless he gets stuck in traffic.

* Mitt Romney took a jab at Obamacare. You knew this was coming. The only Republican in the world yet to criticize Obamacare has just done so.

* Oh, great ... now Romney starts campaigning.

* A lawsuit claims Facebook has spied on its users. After spying, Facebook learned that all of its users live perfect lives filled with beautiful children, snazzy cars and full social calendars.

* There has been "backlash" against "The Wolf of Wall Street." I'm guessing this has something to do with nine of the Ten Commandments being broken in the first three seconds.

* Kate Winslet named her baby "Bear." This happens to be a great name if you're part of the "Duck Dynasty" cast.

* Lacey Chabert married a "mystery man." Statistically, there's a four-percent chance it's Larry King.

* I wouldn't say the "60 Minutes" report on Alex Rodriguez was scathing, but, by the end, Lance Armstrong was holding his hands over his ears.

* In men's college basketball over the weekend, Colorado lost to Washington for the inaugural Recreational Marijuana Cup.

* Mike Tyson's new autobiography is called "Undisputed Truth." Because it's a Tyson book, all the dog ears have little bite marks.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Nebrasks health officials to advertise jobs via drive-thru
Coral Walker named Omaha police officer of the year
A recap of what got done — and what didn't — in the 2014 legislative session
'The war is not over,' Chambers says, but legislative session about is
Sarah Palin, Mike Lee coming to Nebraska for Ben Sasse rally
Prescription drug drop-off is April 26
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Rather than doing $250K in repairs, owner who lives in lot behind 94-year-old house in Dundee razes it
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
PAC funded by Senate candidate Ben Sasse's great-uncle releases Shane Osborn attack ad
Teen killed at Gallagher Park was shot in head as he sat in SUV, friend who was wounded says
NB 30th Street lane closed
State Patrol, Omaha police conduct vehicle inspections
After all his bluster and bravado in the courtroom, Nikko Jenkins found guilty of 4 murders
Bernie Kanger formally promoted to Omaha fire chief
U.S. House incumbents have deeper pockets than their challengers
Nancy's Almanac, April 17, 2014: Trees save money
Ex-Iowan behind landmark free speech case recounts story in Bellevue
Gov. Heineman signs water bill; sponsor calls it 'landmark legislation'
New UNO center strengthens ties between campus, community
Senate candidate Shane Osborn to include anti-tax activist Norquist in telephone town hall
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
Attorney: Man accused of trying to open plane's door needs psychiatric evaluation
49-year-old sentenced to 40-50 years for attempted sex assault of child
< >
Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
Breaking Brad: How many MECA board members can we put in a luxury suite?
As a stunt at the Blue Man Group show, MECA board members are going to see how many people they can stuff into one luxury suite.
Kelly: Creighton's McDermotts put good faces on an Omaha tradition
A comical roast Wednesday night in Omaha brought fans of Creighton basketball laughter by the bucketful. This time it was McJokes, not McBuckets, that entertained the Bluejay crowd.
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Jessica Lutton Bedient was killed by a drunken driver at age 26 in 2010. Thursday, the widowed husband and other family members will gather with others at the University of Nebraska at Omaha to dedicate a permanent memorial to Jessica.
Breaking Brad: How much would you pay for a corn dog?
The Arizona Diamondbacks have a new concession item: a $25 corn dog. For that kind of money, it should be stuffed with Bitcoin.
Deadline Deal thumbnail
Dr. Welbes Natural Health Clinic
$129 for 2 LipoLaser Sessions with Additional Complimentary Services ($605 value)
Buy Now
< >
Omaha World-Herald Contests
Enter for a chance to win great prizes.
OWH Store: Buy photos, books and articles
Buy photos, books and articles
Travel Snaps Photo
Going on Vacation? Take the Omaha World-Herald with you and you could the next Travel Snaps winner.
Click here to donate to Goodfellows
The 2011 Goodfellows fund drive provided holiday meals to nearly 5,000 families and their children, and raised more than $500,000 to help families in crisis year round.
Want to get World-Herald stories sent directly to your home or work computer? Sign up for's News Alerts and you will receive e-mails with the day's top stories.
Can't find what you need? Click here for site map »