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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.
* On Monday, President Obama was scheduled to meet with the president of Spain at the White House. The president of Spain said it'll be nice to communicate with the president directly instead of speaking into the plant the NSA sent him.
* On Sunday, the largest annual gathering of liberal Democrats took place. But enough about the Golden Globes.
* A pipe that burst before the Golden Globes ceremony threatened to flood the red carpet. Had I known, that would've been the first red carpet arrival show I've ever watched.
* How about all the words that had to be bleeped out during the Golden Globes ceremony? It felt like "The Wolf of Wall Street" in ballgowns.
* When a winner spoke too long at the Golden Globes, he or she was drowned out by music. We need to get some of that music before Sen. Ted Cruz's next speech.
* Snarky commentators said that actress Paula Patton's gown was "a ruffled disaster." All I know is that on the red carpet two spotted owls tried to mate with it.
* TLC just aired a special called "Sex Sent Me to the ER." I mistook it for a 60-minute Obamacare commercial.
* TLC aired a special called "Sex Sent Me to the ER" and Spike TV has a show called "10 Million Dollar Bigfoot Bounty." Who says reality television is getting tackier? "
* For the AFC Championship, Tom Brady will play Peyton Manning. I mean, the New England Patriots will face the Denver Broncos. Wink wink.
* For the first time in memory, far-left Democrats and far-right Republicans agree on something. They're all thrilled Chris Christie is in hot water.
* Friday's unemployment report has been tweaked. Unemployment has increased by one, after A-Rod was added.
* If Sunday's “60 Minutes” segment on Alex Rodriguez had lasted much longer, I think he would've been blamed for Benghazi.
* There's another Obamacare success story. After hearing about the trouble Chris Christie is in, Hillary Clinton had to have the ear-to-ear smile on her face surgically removed.
* President Obama has labeled 2014 “A Year of Action.” That sounds better than “2014: The Year of the Long Iron. Goal: Break 80.”
* Michelle Obama turns 50 on Jan. 17. Today Edward Snowden revealed all of her gifts.
* Johnny Manziel is entering the NFL Draft. He said he's looking forward to getting paid to play a game he loves instead of to sign his autograph.
* Reportedly, LeBron James has been mentoring Johnny Manziel. At least one mock draft has Manziel going to Cleveland. OK, right away I see a problem.
* There was a 100 percent chance of rain during the Seahawks-Saints playoff game. Weathercasters based this prediction on the fact the game was played in Seattle.
* A minor hockey team league in the ECHL is letting the public pick the jerseys teams will wear in the all-star game. I don't know – the public picks members of Congress and look how that worked out.