Breaking Brad: So who wants to carpool to Colorado? - Omaha.com
Published Thursday, January 2, 2014 at 1:45 pm / Updated at 2:38 pm
Breaking Brad: So who wants to carpool to Colorado?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* There were 339,000 first-time jobless claims filed last week. And those were just the former NFL head coaches.

* Winter Storm Hercules is bearing down on the northeast. We're now naming storms after bad Hollywood remakes. I'm assuming "Hercules" will be packing some strong winds and bad acting.

* Hercules sounds like if it hit Omaha, side streets wouldn't be cleared until June.

* Taiwan observed New Year's Eve with a 59-foot exploding rubber duck. Of course I've long admired the subtlety of the Taiwanese celebrations.

* Recreational marijuana became legal in Colorado at 12:01 a.m. on New Year's Day. At 12:18 a.m., western Nebraska reported its first contact high.

* According to a Denver Post report, more than 100 marijuana shops will open in Colorado. These things are gonna be like Scooters in Omaha.

* Canada's highest court has struck down the country's anti-prostitution laws. No truth to the rumor the U.S. House of Representatives is relocating to Ottawa.

* Justin Bieber announced he's retiring. He wants to try something completely different. Hey, how about a singing career?

* The 100th Rose Bowl was played on New Year's Day. It's appropriate that, in the 100th Rose Bowl, the Big Ten got its first ever win. Just kidding.

* If there have also been 100 Rose Parades, I'm pretty sure they all looked exactly alike.

* Kris Humphries almost shot at the wrong basket in a game Saturday. Let's just say this would have been the second-worst judgment of Humphries' life and leave it at that. #KardashianWedding

* A Watsonville, Calif., 16-year-old girl competes in monster truck events. When she took her driver's exam, through force of habit, she crushed all the other cars in the DMV parking lot.

* Registration for the Lincoln Marathon opened at 12:01 a.m. Jan. 1. You will actually become more winded rushing to register for the Lincoln Marathon than you will running the flat Lincoln Marathon course.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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