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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* There were 339,000 first-time jobless claims filed last week. And those were just the former NFL head coaches.
* Winter Storm Hercules is bearing down on the northeast. We're now naming storms after bad Hollywood remakes. I'm assuming "Hercules" will be packing some strong winds and bad acting.
* Hercules sounds like if it hit Omaha, side streets wouldn't be cleared until June.
* Taiwan observed New Year's Eve with a 59-foot exploding rubber duck. Of course I've long admired the subtlety of the Taiwanese celebrations.
* Recreational marijuana became legal in Colorado at 12:01 a.m. on New Year's Day. At 12:18 a.m., western Nebraska reported its first contact high.
* According to a Denver Post report, more than 100 marijuana shops will open in Colorado. These things are gonna be like Scooters in Omaha.
* Canada's highest court has struck down the country's anti-prostitution laws. No truth to the rumor the U.S. House of Representatives is relocating to Ottawa.
* Justin Bieber announced he's retiring. He wants to try something completely different. Hey, how about a singing career?
* The 100th Rose Bowl was played on New Year's Day. It's appropriate that, in the 100th Rose Bowl, the Big Ten got its first ever win. Just kidding.
* If there have also been 100 Rose Parades, I'm pretty sure they all looked exactly alike.
* Kris Humphries almost shot at the wrong basket in a game Saturday. Let's just say this would have been the second-worst judgment of Humphries' life and leave it at that. #KardashianWedding
* A Watsonville, Calif., 16-year-old girl competes in monster truck events. When she took her driver's exam, through force of habit, she crushed all the other cars in the DMV parking lot.
* Registration for the Lincoln Marathon opened at 12:01 a.m. Jan. 1. You will actually become more winded rushing to register for the Lincoln Marathon than you will running the flat Lincoln Marathon course.