Breaking Brad: So who wants to carpool to Colorado? -
Published Thursday, January 2, 2014 at 1:45 pm / Updated at 2:38 pm
Breaking Brad: So who wants to carpool to Colorado?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* There were 339,000 first-time jobless claims filed last week. And those were just the former NFL head coaches.

* Winter Storm Hercules is bearing down on the northeast. We're now naming storms after bad Hollywood remakes. I'm assuming "Hercules" will be packing some strong winds and bad acting.

* Hercules sounds like if it hit Omaha, side streets wouldn't be cleared until June.

* Taiwan observed New Year's Eve with a 59-foot exploding rubber duck. Of course I've long admired the subtlety of the Taiwanese celebrations.

* Recreational marijuana became legal in Colorado at 12:01 a.m. on New Year's Day. At 12:18 a.m., western Nebraska reported its first contact high.

* According to a Denver Post report, more than 100 marijuana shops will open in Colorado. These things are gonna be like Scooters in Omaha.

* Canada's highest court has struck down the country's anti-prostitution laws. No truth to the rumor the U.S. House of Representatives is relocating to Ottawa.

* Justin Bieber announced he's retiring. He wants to try something completely different. Hey, how about a singing career?

* The 100th Rose Bowl was played on New Year's Day. It's appropriate that, in the 100th Rose Bowl, the Big Ten got its first ever win. Just kidding.

* If there have also been 100 Rose Parades, I'm pretty sure they all looked exactly alike.

* Kris Humphries almost shot at the wrong basket in a game Saturday. Let's just say this would have been the second-worst judgment of Humphries' life and leave it at that. #KardashianWedding

* A Watsonville, Calif., 16-year-old girl competes in monster truck events. When she took her driver's exam, through force of habit, she crushed all the other cars in the DMV parking lot.

* Registration for the Lincoln Marathon opened at 12:01 a.m. Jan. 1. You will actually become more winded rushing to register for the Lincoln Marathon than you will running the flat Lincoln Marathon course.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

State Department moves to delay Keystone XL pipeline decision
Omahan charged in fatal shooting in Benson neighborhood
Friday's attendance dips at Millard West after bathroom threat
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
Crack ring's leaders join others in prison as a result of Operation Purple Haze
High court denies death row appeal of cult leader convicted of murder
Haze in area comes from Kansas, Oklahoma
Man taken into custody in domestic dispute
Omaha judge reprimanded for intervening in peer attorney's DUI case
Intoxicated man with pellet gun climbs billboard's scaffold; is arrested
Police seek public's help in finding an armed man
Saturday forecast opens window for gardening; Easter egg hunts look iffy on Sunday
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Last day of 2014 Legislature: Praise, passage of a last few bills and more on mountain lions
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
A voice of experience: Ex-gang member helps lead fight against Omaha violence
Church is pressing its case for old Temple Israel site
OPPD board holding public forum, open house May 7
The thrill of the skill: Omaha hosts statewide contest for students of the trades
A recap of what got done — and what didn't — in the 2014 legislative session
When judge asks, Nikko Jenkins says ‘I killed them’
Nancy's Almanac, April 17, 2014: Trees save money
'The war is not over,' Chambers says, but legislative session about is
PAC funded by Senate candidate Ben Sasse's great-uncle releases Shane Osborn attack ad
Teen killed at Gallagher Park was shot in head as he sat in SUV, friend who was wounded says
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Breaking Brad: Stuck in a claw machine? You get no Easter candy
I know of one kid in Lincoln who will be receiving a lump of coal from the Easter Bunny, just as soon as he's extricated from that bowling alley claw machine.
Breaking Brad: Mountain lion season's over, but the bunny's fair game!
Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
Breaking Brad: How many MECA board members can we put in a luxury suite?
As a stunt at the Blue Man Group show, MECA board members are going to see how many people they can stuff into one luxury suite.
Kelly: Creighton's McDermotts put good faces on an Omaha tradition
A comical roast Wednesday night in Omaha brought fans of Creighton basketball laughter by the bucketful. This time it was McJokes, not McBuckets, that entertained the Bluejay crowd.
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