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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.
* New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg, who leaves office at midnight Tuesday, was paid an annual salary of $1 per year. Members of the current Congress could receive a salary of a buck per year and still be overpaid by 90 cents.
* At the Newark airport on Christmas, a man in women’s clothes hopped a fence and ran across two runways where he was met by an airport employee. After airport personnel realized the man in drag had no oversized conditioner, he was allowed to continue.
* We already know elephants have long memories. According to a new study, elephants are capable of holding grudges too. This means next time you go to a zoo the elephant could be squinting, thinking: “You’re the guy who hit me in the trunk with a peanut in ‘01.”
* ESPN’s Chris Fowler said that colleague Jesse Palmer used the Heimlich maneuver to remove a turkey sandwich lodged in his throat during the Pinstripe Bowl halftime. This is the first Pinstripe Bowl halftime show I’m sorry I missed.
* No truth to rumors, Tony Siragusa asked: “What’re you gonna do with the rest of the sandwich?”
* It’s a good thing Fowler was working the game with Palmer instead of, say, Jon Gruden. “I have a story about the inventor of the Heimlich maneuver...“ "Help — me."
* In the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, Buffalo and San Diego State played in 30-degree temperatures. When the QB can see his breath while barking signals, you know you’re not in the Hawaii Bowl.
* It was refreshing to see that group of excited college football players jumping up and down celebrating their upset bowl win — wait, my mistake — that was the Missouri Tigers after finding ipods in their gift bags.
* Passenger volume was up at the Lincoln Airport in 2013. I attribute this mostly to emergency landings and planes rerouted during storms.
* Fireworks sales are legal in the Omaha area for three days around New Year's. This is not to be confused with the firecrackers we set off to celebrate the Fourth of July, Flag Day and when the groundhog sees/does not see his shadow.
* Only in Nebraska do we head to Grandma's house for Christmas and then set off faux artillery shells in her backyard.
* The Obama Administration is pushing "Obamacare success stories." If we add an extra second to the world clock on New Year's Eve I plan to use the time to read these.
* A new tax rate of 75 percent for the wealthy just went into effect in France. Members of the Nebraska Legislature, stop drooling.
* A tax rate of 75 percent for the wealthy in France? After hearing about this I'm assuming Obama will bolt from Hawaii and spend the rest of his vacation in Paris.
* Recreational marijuana sales begin Jan. 1 in Colorado. It becomes official when the governor of Colorado throws out the first joint.
* The Holiday Bowl is offering some half-price tickets. This is also known as "The Dollar Tree of Bowls."