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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* Air Force One has landed in Jacksonville, Fla. No, wait, that was the opulent team plane flying the Husker football team to the Gator Bowl.
* In observation of the Christmas holiday, Colorado's Legislature just legalized the smoking of "recreational Myrrh."
* I went to see the movie "Nebraska." I'm sure it'll be even better once it's colorized.
* In Port Orange, Fla. a man dressed as Santa robbed a bank. If there was a slow-speed chase involving a sleigh and seven cop cars, it was the TV event of the year.
* To find him, cops brought in a local TV weather guy and a "Santa tracker."
* President Obama signed a new budget bill while on vacation in Hawaii. To get Obama to sign, aides replaced the golf scorecard Obama was about to sign with the bill.
* The way things have worked the past few months in Washington, D.C., I'm just surprised the bill wasn't lost after being sent via UPS.
* A family was kicked out of an Applebee's because their kids were too noisy. Were they playing inside a 747?
* Justin Bieber tweeted, "I'm officially retiring." Unfortunately, he did this on Christmas Eve, a time when 98 percent of Bieber fans were busy setting a trap for Santa.
* On Christmas Eve TSN aired "The Top 100 Bloopers of 2013." Fifty of the bloopers were by the Milwaukee Bucks, and the rest featured the 113th U.S. Congress.
* Five NBA games aired on TV over 12.5 hours on Christmas Day. The highlight was when a team of elves defeated the Milwaukee Bucks, 85-83.
* A new report says Kobe Bryant was behind the NBA labor deal. Kobe countered he was way too busy hiring and firing Lakers coaches to negotiate a labor agreement.
* Raymond Felton asked fans to "pray" for his New York Knicks. Were all the real problems in the world solved overnight and I missed it?
* Derrick Rose is out indefinitely with a torn meniscus. The average NBA fan's response: "Meniscus? Isn't that the new Croatian player?"
* Matt Stafford's girlfriend has defended the Lions QB on Twitter. Note to all the girlfriends, wives, mothers, dads and sisters of pro athletes: When you try to defend 'em on Twitter, it almost always ends badly.