* * * * * * * * * *
Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.
* At a hotel in Africa six large elephants traipsed through the lobby. That’s when you know you’re checking into the wrong place for your “quiet getaway.”
* A company has designed a washing machine that can be operated by service dogs. If this works out they hope to one day design a washing machine that can be operated by dads.
* On Sunday Night Football the Steelers defeated the Bengals. You know what won it for Pittsburgh? Special teams. Especially coach Mike Tomlin’s three tackles and two forced fumbles on punt returns.
* The Houston Texans are blaming their disappointing season on a supposed “curse” caused by Vanilla Ice’s halftime performance on Sept. 15. Of all of the hundreds of sports “curses” this is the first one that seems to have merit.
* There is a new potential world’s shortest man, a 73-year-old in Nepal who stands 16 inches tall. The 73-year-old, 16-inch man was last seen celebrating his new five-year contract to play for the Utah Jazz.
* Baylor gave football coach Art Briles a 10-year contract extension. That means he’ll be around for Baylor’s next five million touchdowns.
* After a report in a Texas newspaper that NU extended a feeler to Mack Brown, Husker A.D. Shawn Eichorst responded to the World-Herald with a one-word text: "Deny!" Something is wrong when the real Eichorst sends one, one-word text and Fake Shawn Eichorst is tweeting 30 times an hour.
* The nation of Chile has elected its first female president. What - Hillary Clinton couldn't wait for 2016?
* The U.S. Winter Olympic luge trials are taking place in Park City, Utah. Today some tea party members showed up to protest that the two-man luge is too close to same-sex marriage for their taste.
* The odds of winning Tuesday night's Mega Millions drawing are said to be similar to being killed by a comet. The death-lotto analogies don't stop. Now they're saying the odds of winning are the same as being killed by passing overhead bird dropping a 40-pound worm on your head.
* The snow keeps falling in the Northeast. Not only is the northeast assured of a white Christmas, but odds are looking good for a white Easter too.
* This is the final week of the season for "The Voice." In this era of cutbacks, the winner will only receive 14 minutes of fame.
* In college football news, Jameis Winston has a terrific weekend; Mack Brown, not so much.
* In the Cowboys game with the Packers Dez Bryant left the field before the game was over. The Bryant-Randy Moss comparisons do not end.
* Tony Romo is taking a whipping on Twitter. Not to worry, Romo, if Christopher Columbus, Mother Teresa and Benjamin Franklin were alive today, they'd be trashed on Twitter too.