Annie, I have developed feelings for Amanda at the retail outlet -
Published Tuesday, December 10, 2013 at 12:01 am / Updated at 7:08 pm
Annie, I have developed feelings for Amanda at the retail outlet

Dear Annie: I've been employed for two months at a large retail outlet and have gotten to know many of the people who work there.

“Amanda” is in the food section, and I am in the clothing department. I'm a straight woman, and she is bisexual. Two weeks ago, the two of us went out to dinner for her birthday. Since then, I have developed strong feelings for her.

I asked Amanda to dinner the other night, and she turned me down, saying she had plans. Yesterday, another co-worker told me she saw Amanda having lunch with a woman who works in the automotive section. The co-worker said the two of them were very touchy.

This made me really jealous and sad. Should I tell Amanda I have feelings for her? If so, how do I do that?

Confused and Maybe in Love

Dear Confused: There are different types of jealousy. Amanda seems to be a popular girl. If you consider yourself to be straight, you should examine whether your jealousy is romantic in nature or whether it's the type that female friends develop when one of them picks a different “best friend.” If you want a romantic relationship, let Amanda know by asking her again to lunch, dinner, a movie or other entertainment outside of work. If she is repeatedly “busy,” it means she is not interested.

Dear Annie: I hope it's not too late to comment on the letter from “Can't Believe Adults Act This Way,” whose daughter, a teacher, was being bullied by her co-workers. This happened to me when I was younger.

One day, one member of that group gave me some advice. She said, “Play dumb and pretend you don't know they are talking about you. Always be pleasant, say 'hello' and 'good morning' to everyone, even when they do not respond. Join them in the lounge. Make a pleasant general comment, and then turn to your magazine or whatever you have to do. Always have something to occupy your time.

If you have to ask anyone a question about work, ask it in the lounge in the presence of everyone. If they make a nasty comment, just brush it off and pretend that you didn't realize it was nasty. When you really need a breather, occasionally go off on your own, but don't make it obvious.”

This may not appeal to everyone in such a position, but it worked for me. It was terribly hard for the first few months, and then it became a routine. Eventually, the ringleader asked me where I was when I didn't come into the lounge the day before. After that, I was completely accepted by the group.

I have lived by that rule ever since and have passed it on to my children. One cannot fight with someone who will not fight. You keep your dignity and, gain their respect. It works in school, at the workplace and even with your own family.

Yvonne from Montreal

Contact the writer:

Easter Sunday temperatures climb into 80s in Omaha area
From fashion to baskets, a guide to the latest Easter trends
Families from area shelters treated to meal at Old Chicago
Mizzou alumni aim to attract veterinary students to Henry Doorly Zoo
This Friday, celebrate Arbor Day where it all began
Why two hotshots ditched six-figure salaries for a life of less
Annie, my boyfriend of 3 years won't invite me to his mobile home
Kooser: 'American Life in Poetry' (April 20)
Swoosie’s voice a joy in memoir of stage, family
It's a pursuit of pastel at Spring Lake Park's Easter egg hunt
Want a different garden? Turn to your local greenhouse, nursery
How they met: An Omahan's 50-foot fall was best thing to ever happen to him
Annie, I'm telling you checking out nude bodies online is not porn
How to transform your wall or deck into hanging herb garden
Iowa West Foundation aids Joslyn Art Museum's repairs
Benson Hall of Fame to honor 8 graduates, 2 former educators
Omaha library staffers recommend these books
The World-Herald's weekend event recommendations
Dining review: If you're craving sushi, head to Benson's Taita
What's going on this weekend?
Dining notes: Dario’s has a new spring menu
Archives: So many wonderful old Omaha photos
Annie, drop some bereavement knowledge on these yuppies
Author Gabriel Garcia Marquez dies at 87
UNL students make dancing robot drones
< >
Cleveland Evans: From a moody nickname to the Ninja Turtles’ bestie
In honor of April 1, this column’s about Murgatroyd and Amphelisia.
Deadline Deal thumbnail
The Jaipur in Rockbrook Village
Half Off Fine Indian Cuisine & Drinks! $15 for Dinner, or $7 for Lunch
Buy Now
Jump to a blog:
< >
We Love Weddings blog
W.E. Love Weddings is about everything Omaha and everything weddings by the editors of Wedding Essentials Magazine.
Weddings and engagements
Share your exciting news with your community by placing an announcement today.
Inspired Home Omaha magazine
Sign up today to get the latest edition of Omaha's best magazine for local living, home entertainment, fashion and travel!
Want to get World-Herald stories sent directly to your home or work computer? Sign up for's News Alerts and you will receive e-mails with the day's top stories.
Can't find what you need? Click here for site map »