Breaking Brad: 2 million online accounts hacked; AOL users, you're safe -
Published Thursday, December 5, 2013 at 12:01 am / Updated at 12:48 pm
Breaking Brad: 2 million online accounts hacked; AOL users, you're safe

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.

* It is bitingly cold in eastern Nebraska. Walking outdoors is pretty much the equivalent of being zapped with a stun gun on Black Friday at a Florida Walmart.

* When Michelle Obama unveiled the White House Christmas decorations, first dogs Bo and Sunny entertained the crowd with their antics. With Joe Biden out of the country, somebody had to step up.

* Up to 70,000 Americans are expected to visit the White House between now and Christmas. You combine this with the 80,000 celebrities expected, and the White House will be very crowded.

* There is another fast-food workers strike in the U.S. Fortunately, we have enough fast food stored in our bodies that we're like bears about to hibernate for the winter.

* Some fast-food workers are on strike. This could cripple the U.S. faster than a pilots' strike the day before Thanksgiving.

* More than 2 million Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo and Google accounts have been breached. Poor AOL; now its accounts aren't worth hacking.

* According to one report, Kim Jong Un has fired his own uncle. This, despite Shawn Eichorst's statement supporting the uncle.

* A completely unfounded Internet rumor has linked Bo Pelini to the vacant Washington Huskies job. Wasn't the six or seven hours we went without a coaching controversy in Lincoln fun?

* Omaha has put in a bid to host a world equestrian event at the CenturyLink Center. Because it's Omaha, the horses will have to jump over orange traffic cones and navigate a series of detours.

* President Obama said he'll work with anyone to improve Obamacare and said, "You've got good ideas? Bring 'em to me." Maybe it is time to give up on the current Congress and turn to Sears clerks and Sizzler cashiers to fix Washington, D.C.

* President Obama said he will work with anyone to fix Obamacare. I'm not so sure you want to invite "anyone" to bring you ideas. This is the same American public that made “50 Shades of Grey” a bestseller and believes that professional wrestling is real.

* It turns out that the woman who was pictured on the sign-in screen on is originally from Colombia. If President Obama is trying to win over conservative Republicans, this isn't going to get it done.

* Nancy Pelosi may even have reservations about Obamacare. This after she was dismayed to discover Obamacare doesn't cover pulled muscles caused by leaping 10 feet in the airing during State of the Union speeches.

* The FAA is going to begin cracking down on obese pilots. You know what that means? Only light beer in the cockpit.

* People magazine named New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo the "sexiest 55-year-old." Remember when politicians in this country were more than just another pretty face?

* Auburn A.D. Jay Jacobs told ESPN that if a one-loss SEC champion doesn't get to play in the BCS title game, it would be un-American. Next weekend Jacobs will be opening for Larry the Cable Guy.

* A recent postgame women's college hockey brawl after Bemidji State upset Ohio State resulted in 303 penalty minutes and 19 game disqualifications. I've seen wars that were less ugly.

* It looked like any episode of “Basketball Wives.”

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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