Dear Annie: I am in my 60s and have been married for 10 years to a wonderful man. It’s a second marriage for both of us. He was a widower, and I was divorced.
The problem is his daughter, “Emily,” who has been a thorn in our sides from Day One.
When we married, we signed a prenup. My husband has investments, which are primarily in his children’s names. My house was paid for, and his wasn’t, so he sold it and we moved into mine. It’s still in my name because I intend to leave it to my children after both of us pass on.
Emily has been complaining to her father that he should have his name on the deed to my house.
I am not willing to do this, because if we divorce, he gets 50 percent of all of my assets, including the house. I don’t have a lot of money, I don’t make a lot of money, and I also don’t ask my husband for money. Yet, Emily tells him I’m only after his money.
I think Emily is evil and mean, and I don’t want to be around her. She gives bill collectors our phone number, so we get harassed about her missing payments. The reason she wants her father’s name on my house is because she wants to inherit it. I am sick of her manipulations, but not sure what to do. Her father always takes her side, and it makes me wonder how much he loves me.
Dear Fed Up: Your problem isn’t Emily so much as it is your husband, who refuses to tell her to knock it off. Please talk to him (do not badmouth his daughter) and explain that your prenup protects both of you and preserves your assets for your heirs.
Reassure him that if you die, he can live in the house for the rest of his life, but then it passes to your children. Say that Emily’s constant pressure on this issue is creating problems within your marriage, and he needs to make it clear that she must stop.
How he handles that will determine whether he can be trusted to put you first — or whether you need counseling to assess your future with him.
Dear Annie: My wife and I recently married. The wedding was in Texas, but most of our family lives elsewhere. Although we were disappointed, we understood that many folks would be unable to attend due to the travel and hotel costs.
Here’s the problem. Not one of these relatives sent so much as a card, let alone a gift. In the past few years, we have attended several family events and always gave gifts.
Sometimes we had to travel great distances and pay for hotels and plane fares.
We expected they would return the favor. Their failure to do so leaves a bad taste in our mouths and makes us not want to attend any events they plan in the future.
Confused in Texas
Dear Confused: Many people feel that if they did not attend the event, they do not need to send a gift, although a card with good wishes is always proper. But please do not treat your wedding as a fundraiser. While a gift is welcome and appropriate, it should not be the point of the invitation. And gifts may still be forthcoming. We hope they will extend their good wishes, but you cannot demand that they do so.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Manager,” who said his employees never complain about having to stand all day.
Well, here’s a complaint. I’ve got a bad knee. I have a brace, and I use a topical analgesic. My manager, though, has no idea. I never complain, even though I wind up in bed the next day. Just because a person doesn’t complain doesn’t mean everything is hunky dory. Complaining could get you fired.
Retail Worker in Florida
Contact the writer: