Breaking Brad: Wild hogs, wild dogs and goats in back seat - Omaha.com
Published Friday, November 29, 2013 at 2:00 pm / Updated at 7:03 pm
BRAD DICKSON
Breaking Brad: Wild hogs, wild dogs and goats in back seat

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at Omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

* * * * * * * * * * This is Brad's afternoon edition. Click here for the morning column.

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* After the Husker loss to Iowa, some say that Bo Pelini acted like he'd already accepted a job opening elsewhere. Florida Atlantic?

* Here's the amazing thing: The latest Bo Pelini coaching rumors are being fueled by ... Bo Pelini?

* I'm not taking a position on whether Bo returns or not. I'll just say that if he does come back, we need a longer delay on TV during those post-game press conferences.

* Omahans traveling over the Thanksgiving holiday experienced delays, frustrations and numerous re-routing. And with all our road closures, that was just on the drive to the airport.

* This year instead of a big holiday meal, I just tweeted Happy Thanksgiving to my loved ones.

* The sheriff of Maricopa County, AZ. spent 56 cents per inmate on Thanksgiving dinner for some kind of soy casserole. Under terms of the Geneva Convention you couldn't have served that to POWs.

* The White House claimed that the GOP is trying to steal turkey from the poor. This answers the question: "Can we even get through a White House turkey pardoning these days without it becoming political?" Answer: No, apparently we cannot.

* It was a "short week" between Husker games. That meant there was only time for 608 Internet Husker coaching rumors.

* Many questions were answered during the three NFL games on Thanksgiving. Pretty much the only unanswered question? What in the world was Selena Gomez doing during halftime of the Cowboys-Raiders game?

* Green Bay Packers cornerback Tramon Williams shoved a referee. That's a new low - you're playing the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving and you end up looking like the bad guy.

* There is a shortage of large Butterball turkeys in the world. This is when you know Americans ate too much on Thanksgiving - big turkeys nearly go instinct.

* The thumb next to the Facebook “like” icon has disappeared. A nation of stunned Facebook users is sitting frozen in front of their computers unsure what to do. “Well, it says “like” but there's no thumb...”

* The Facebook thumb is gone from the “like” icon. Judging from how Facebook has generally responded to investors and users, I'm looking for the thumb to be replaced by a middle finger.

* In an Atlanta suburb a group of rampaging wild hogs has been running amok. Just when you think the Atlanta airport couldn't get any worse Thanksgiving week, you could be sitting there waiting for your twice-delayed flight when a pack of angry wild hogs runs through.

* Bo Pelini's contract extension runs through Feb. 28, 2018. A slick agent would've re-upped him till Feb. 29.

* Some new parents in Green Bay named their 8-pound baby boy after Aaron Rodgers. Another two pounds and they were gonna go with B.J. Raji.

* In the past month Omaha North football coach Larry Martin won a state championship and welcomed his fourth child. The highlight of my month was when MeTV reran my favorite episode of “Hogan's Heroes.”

* A coyote ran part of the Arizona high school state cross country meet. You think you feel sorry for the security people assigned to get the dog off the major league baseball field.

* Last Wednesday Jose Canseco was pulled over by Nevada cops who found several goats, one wearing a diaper, in his car; the next day Canseco was named Director of Operations for the Texas Winter League. This sounds like the weirdest job criteria I've heard yet.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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