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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Omaha City Council members who voted in favor of extending voting rights to those living outside the city have withdrawn their support. This, after introspection and deep thought ... who am I kidding? They realized it was unpopular and could jeopardize their shot at re-election.
* State Sen. Annette Dubas has withdrawn from the Nebraska governor's race. Which was a huge shock to most Nebraskans who had no idea Annette Dubas was in the Nebraska governor's race.
* Oh, no. This means we're down to only 289 gubernatorial candidates.
* Thanksgiving is a traditional time for Americans to come together in the spirit of peace and fellowship to give thanks. And then, to turn on TV and watch a Detroit Lion pull some guy's leg off.
* The “comet of the century” may be visible on Thanksgiving. Of course, the average American won't see it unless it flies through Kohl's.
* The shortage of large Butterball turkeys this year is due to farmers being unable to fatten up their birds. I have three words for these farmers: “drive through lane.”
* The average family Thanksgiving dinner will cost $49.04 this year, 44 cents less than 2012. The average cost is brought down by all the people dining on Thanksgiving Spam so they can afford their Obamacare policies.
* Many turkeys have been bred to have such large breasts they can't even stand. Same thing with the Kardashians.
* In a sign of the times, a 400-foot needle is being stuck atop a Christmas tree in New York City so it can technically be the tallest tree in the nation, surpassing one in Chicago.
* President Obama just returned from a trip to San Francisco and Hollywood. On Thursday he'll give thanks he didn't see one conservative.
* The real reason Obama was in California? He wanted to personally present Kobe Bryant with his first tax bill after signing that $48.5 million contract.
* Brazil just held a best butt contest. This is the South American version of our congressional midterms.
* President Obama's approval rating is at an all-time low. Obama has a new strategy. He's going to start hanging around the mayor of Toronto so he looks good in comparison.
* The first luxury ski resort has opened in North Korea. A little different. Anyone who falls on the bunny hill will be imprisoned for two years.
* So far the resort has proven to be wildly popular, mostly because the ski lift chairs are larger than the North Korean apartments.
* After last week's game, a Penn State fan reportedly threw eggs at Huskers. Hey, man, this is a team that used to dodge ice balls from Colorado fans; players don't fear your eggs.
* Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie, who has 10 children with eight different women, has undergone a vasectomy, according to a new book. Economic experts promptly lowered expectations for Father's Day spending.