Breaking Brad: Colorado dog registered for Obamacare -
Published Monday, November 25, 2013 at 12:01 am / Updated at 11:39 am
Breaking Brad: Colorado dog registered for Obamacare

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

* * * * * * * * * *

Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* We passed the 16,000 milestone. That's how many retailers plan to be open on Thanksgiving.

* The University of Nebraska Medical Center ice skating rink will open right after Thanksgiving. Is that a good idea? The first thing Americans do after gaining weight over Thanksgiving is stepping onto ice?

* There is a shortage of large Butterball turkeys this Thanksgiving. Right now the average American is saying: “Can't you give the smaller turkeys steroids or something?”

* To compensate for the lack of large Butterball turkeys the average American is expected to consume 68 pounds of stuffing.

* I'm assuming this shortage is because we ate all the large Butterball turkeys last year.

* This is a big deal in the U.S. I guess when you call the Butterball hotline, a sobbing woman answers the phone going, “We're so sorry.”

* Elton John performed before a sold-out crowd at Lincoln's Pinnacle Bank Arena on Saturday night. Last weekend Omaha's Centurylink Center featured a show sponsored by the Council Bluffs Kennel Club. OK, I gotta give this round to the Pinnacle Bank Arena.

* Elton John wore a red, sequined tuxedo and sunglasses. It was awkward at the Lincoln Airport when he ran into Kenny Bell returning from Penn State wearing the exact same ensemble.

* President Obama achieved the nuclear agreement with Iran after threatening to toughen the economic sanctions by sending Obamacare over there.

* A Colorado man received a letter informing him that his 14-year old Yorkie had registered for Obamacare through the state-run exchange. That's absurd! At 14, the dog should have qualified for Medicare.

* A desperate Kathleen Sebelius said, “That counts! Another enrollee.”

* A wave of Arctic cold air has spread across the United States. It's so cold that on Sunday, NFL fans in the front rows put on shirts.

* It's so cold that at Sunday night's AMAs, Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift were wearing clothes.

* On Saturday, Miley Cyrus turned 21. Which means that party ought to really be going good about now.

* The Saturday Nebraska-Penn State matchup was a contest with national significance – if it had been volleyball.

* There's speculation the Huskers may play in the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl. That's how it goes for Nebraska fans. One day you're hoping to be watching the Rose Parade in Pasadena, the next you're thinking instead it'll be 20-foot inflatable wild wings in Tempe.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Sole big donor to Beau McCoy says he expects nothing in return
Firefighters battle brush fire near Fontenelle Forest
Omaha police investigate two shootings
Sioux City riverboat casino prepares to close, still hoping to be saved
Omaha high schoolers to help canvass for Heartland 2050
Mizzou alumni aim to attract veterinary students to Henry Doorly Zoo
Grant ensures that Sioux City can start building children's museum
Party looks to 'nudge' women into public office in Iowa
For birthday, Brownell-Talbot student opts to give, not get
Two taken to hospital after fire at Benson home
Grace: Pipe organ concert a tribute to couple's enduring love
Omaha-area jails and ERs new front line in battling mental illness
Convicted killer Nikko Jenkins might await his sentence in prison
Kelly: 70 years after a deadly D-Day rehearsal, Omahan, WWII vet will return to Europe
Civil rights hearing to consider voting policies in Midwest
17 senators in Nebraska Legislature hit their (term) limits
It's a pursuit of pastel at Spring Lake Park's Easter egg hunt
Financial picture improving for city-owned Mid-America Center
No injuries after fire at midtown's old Mercer Mansion
29-year-old Omahan arrested for 22nd time in Lincoln
Police: Slaying of woman in Ralston apartment likely over drugs
Explosion near 29th, Woolworth damages vehicles
Omaha police arrest man, 19, accused in March shooting
Earth gets its day in the sun at Elmwood Park
Beau McCoy strikes Obama doll in TV ad; Democrats are not happy
< >
Kelly: 70 years after a deadly D-Day rehearsal, Omahan, WWII vet will return to Europe
A World War II veteran from Omaha will return this week to Europe to commemorate a tragedy in the run-up to D-Day.
Dickson’s Week in Review, April 13-19
On Twitter some guy tweeted that the spring game isn’t taken as seriously as a regular-season contest. What was your first clue? When the head coach entered waving a cat aloft?
Kelly: A California university president returns to her Nebraska roots on Ivy Day
The main speaker at today's Ivy Day celebration at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln is a college president who grew up roping calves and earned her Ph.D. at the prestigious Oxford University in England.
Breaking Brad: Stuck in a claw machine? You get no Easter candy
I know of one kid in Lincoln who will be receiving a lump of coal from the Easter Bunny, just as soon as he's extricated from that bowling alley claw machine.
Breaking Brad: Mountain lion season's over, but the bunny's fair game!
Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
Deadline Deal thumbnail
The Jaipur in Rockbrook Village
Half Off Fine Indian Cuisine & Drinks! $15 for Dinner, or $7 for Lunch
Buy Now
< >
Omaha World-Herald Contests
Enter for a chance to win great prizes.
OWH Store: Buy photos, books and articles
Buy photos, books and articles
Travel Snaps Photo
Going on Vacation? Take the Omaha World-Herald with you and you could the next Travel Snaps winner.
Click here to donate to Goodfellows
The 2011 Goodfellows fund drive provided holiday meals to nearly 5,000 families and their children, and raised more than $500,000 to help families in crisis year round.
Want to get World-Herald stories sent directly to your home or work computer? Sign up for's News Alerts and you will receive e-mails with the day's top stories.
Can't find what you need? Click here for site map »