Dickson's Week in Review, Nov. 17-23 - Omaha.com
Published Saturday, November 23, 2013 at 9:02 pm / Updated at 9:59 pm
HUMOR
Dickson's Week in Review, Nov. 17-23

Nebraska defeated Penn State 23-20 in overtime. Perhaps the most amazing thing was that the game featured what looked like an awful call against Nebraska and Bo Pelini's head didn't explode.

I think the 2013 Husker football team has raised the median blood pressure of the state of Nebraska at least 15 points.

At one point Penn State had 12 men on the field, counting a referee.

The injury situation for Nebraska is ridiculous. The Huskers are so thin, at one point Saturday Matt Damon's nephew almost got in the game.

Running backs coach Ron Brown has incorporated juggling into team drills to help with peripheral vision. This was a fun story before NU lost to Michigan State. Now, it's, “I'll tell you what's wrong with this team — instead of scrimmaging, players are juggling fruit!”

Ohio State receiver Evan Spencer said “We'd wipe the field” with Alabama or Florida State. Next year, when things are settled in a playoff, look for these types of statements to decrease by roughly 99 percent.

After getting their first conference win in 28 tries by defeating West Virginia, Kansas fans tore down a goal post and dumped it in a lake. That's unbelievable. I mean, the part about Kansas and West Virginia being in the same conference.

Lee Corso picked USC to upset Stanford. It may be time the college football community took Corso seriously. Or, as seriously as you can take a guy in some sort of bison head.

In Denver, Peyton Manning has begun wearing a glove on his throwing hand. He's pursuing the only record that's eluded him: “Most TD passes by a guy resembling Michael Jackson.”

Last Tuesday marked the 150th anniversary of the Gettysburg Address, which consisted of 272 words. On “Monday Night Football,” it takes Jon Gruden 1,500 words to explain an offside call.

Creighton's Grant Gibbs has been slowed by a thumb injury. The good news is he's the first college athlete old enough to qualify for Medicare.

Indiana State officials erected a statue of Larry Bird. I'm just surprised they have room with all the other statues of Indiana State basketball icons.

Jack Taylor of Grinnell College in Iowa just scored 109 points in a game. He scored 138 points in a game last season. I'm no expert, but it may be time to consider double-teaming this guy.

Dwight Howard appeared on “Sesame Street” last week. Based on how Howard shoots free throws, I'm guessing the word of the day was “brick.”

“Jose Canseco was pulled over by cops who found a goat wearing a diaper in his car.” And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your headline of the week.

And finally: Next Sept. 9, the L.A. Dodgers are holding Babe Ruth Bobblehead Night. They're actually leftover Tommy Lasorda bobbleheads, with Babe's head.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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