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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.
* Sarah Palin's scheduled appearance at Costco in Omaha on Friday was canceled due to weather conditions. That's when you know we have lousy November weather: someone from Alaska says, "nope, not doing it."
* Palin was coming to Omaha to promote her new book and 17 new TV reality programs.
* It was entirely weather-related. There is zero truth to the rumor Palin detoured to western Nebraska so she could hunt mountain lions from the plane.
* Omaha received a dusting of snow. Or, as the local TV stations called it: "Snow Tsunami 2013."
* I love how Omaha TV stations send a reporter to stand at the bottom of a hill that cars are struggling to drive up. If any reporter would set down his microphone and push the car, I'll vow to watch that station the rest of this winter.
* There's so much salt on the Omaha streets, the city is basically one huge margarita.
* City road crews applied brine, a mixture of salt and water, to the streets. I remember, back in the '70s, brine was part of the school lunch program.
* There is online video of a ram that screams just like a person. With my luck, that is what I'll sit next to on the plane the day before Thanksgiving.
* The Moroccan king is visiting the White House. With his love affair with Hollywood, President Obama would be more impressed if it was an extra from "Grey's Anatomy."
* Ashton Kutcher is the highest-paid actor on television. So, see, kids: You don't need a boatload of talent to succeed in America.
* During a Class A playoff game vs. Omaha Westside, Millard West's Harrison Phillips blocked a punt while doing a cartwheel. He's the first high school football player who, after the play, received perfect 10s from the judges.
* This week, we paid tribute to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, which was 272 words in length. You know what Shawn Eichorst calls someone who delivers a 272-word speech? “Loquacious.”
* Jay Cutler revealed his wife once took their dogs to a dog psychic. Actually, compared to the Fox NFL pregame show predictions, dog psychics tend to be spot on.
* A Jacksonville-area Target is giving away Jaguars apparel. That's when you know a team is having a bad season. Instead of being marked up to 20 times its face value, the store says: “Aw, what the heck. Just give the stuff away.”
* Alex Rodriguez bolted out of his grievance hearing, which he called “absurd” and a “farce.” In football, we'd call that “Big 12 spring meetings.”