Breaking Brad: Giant balloon-head activists unite! -
Published Thursday, November 21, 2013 at 2:12 pm / Updated at 12:52 pm
Breaking Brad: Giant balloon-head activists unite!

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning humor column.

* Thursday is the Great American Smokeout, also known as "NO, YOU CAN'T BORROW MY STAPLER!" Day.

* According to a Thursday morning forecast, the snow is expected to begin around 6 p.m. Have the forecasts been so accurate lately that the weather service now has the confidence to time-stamp 'em?

* The Thursday weather forecast included the two scariest words known to humankind: "wintry mix." Number two? "Tax audit." Number three? Probably "Dr. Kardashian."

* Mars rover Curiosity has been sidelined due to "a glitch." Don't tell me Kathleen Sebelius is now in charge of the space program...

* Freshman Rep. Trey Radel pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine. It takes most members of Congress three or four years to learn to make complete fools of themselves, but this guy got it right off the bat.

* As a member of the current Congress, at least he wasn't using one of those drugs that kill brain cells. That could be disastrous.

* The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade will be protested by some animal activists. Also, some "giant balloon-head" activists.

* People are already camping out in front of stores in anticipation of Black Friday. "Star Wars" fans who move into the multiplex a month before a new film opens said: "Are you guys nuts?"

* On a train ride to Delaware recently, Vice President Joe Biden sat next to Whoopi Goldberg. Of course, there were questions like: “What's Barack Obama really like?” That was Biden asking Whoopi.

* There's no truth to the rumors they were negotiating President Obama replacing Jenny McCarthy on “The View.”

* Two convicted felons were elected to the Flint, Mich., City Council, and a dead guy was re-elected mayor of Thompson, Iowa. So, apparently Americans were serious about improving the quality of our elected leaders.

* Tony Allen kicked Chris Paul in the face. After seeing this, Richie Incognito said: “Well, there's always basketball.”

* Rob Ryan's hair has its own Facebook page. The way things are going, Rob Ryan's hair will soon have more friends than the real Rex Ryan.

* Ryan Lochte was injured after being tackled by a teenage female fan. It's just as well he chose swimming over football.

Also from Brad: Who's ready to drive straight into a ditch?

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Crews working to subdue brush fire that may spread to Fontenelle Forest
Financial picture improving for city-owned Mid-America Center
No injuries after fire at midtown's old Mercer Mansion
29-year-old Omahan arrested for 22nd time in Lincoln
Police: Slaying of woman in Ralston apartment likely over drugs
Explosion near 29th, Woolworth damages vehicles
Omaha police arrest man, 19, accused in March shooting
Earth gets its day in the sun at Elmwood Park
Beau McCoy strikes Obama doll in TV ad; Democrats are not happy
17 senators in Nebraska Legislature hit their (term) limits
It's a pursuit of pastel at Spring Lake Park's Easter egg hunt
Keystone XL pipeline backers blast 'political expediency' as foes hail ruling to delay decision
Nebraska senators to study tax issues over break
Portion of Saddle Creek Road closed after water main break
Teenager arrested after woman's purse is snatched outside Omaha store
Police identify 21-year-old shot in ankle near 30th, W Streets
Cult murderer's death row appeal denied, but execution in limbo
Interstate construction to cause lane shifts, closings in Omaha area
Kelly: A California university president returns to her Nebraska roots on Ivy Day
Omahan charged in fatal shooting in Benson neighborhood
Friday's attendance dips at Millard West after bathroom threat
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
Crack ring's leaders join others in prison as a result of Operation Purple Haze
Haze in area comes from Kansas, Oklahoma
Man taken into custody in domestic dispute
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Dickson’s Week in Review, April 13-19
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Kelly: A California university president returns to her Nebraska roots on Ivy Day
The main speaker at today's Ivy Day celebration at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln is a college president who grew up roping calves and earned her Ph.D. at the prestigious Oxford University in England.
Breaking Brad: Stuck in a claw machine? You get no Easter candy
I know of one kid in Lincoln who will be receiving a lump of coal from the Easter Bunny, just as soon as he's extricated from that bowling alley claw machine.
Breaking Brad: Mountain lion season's over, but the bunny's fair game!
Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
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