* * * * * * * * * *
Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* OPPD is not expected to propose an annual rate increase this year. I believe this is our first holiday miracle.
* There was another road race near Omaha on Friday morning. When the starter's gun fired, thousands of runners took off. Wait, my mistake, that was the formal opening of Nebraska Crossing Outlets.
* For the first 45 days, there are free giveaways at Nebraska Crossing Outlets. The bad news? If you leave now, with traffic in the area, it'll take you 46 days to get there.
* I can picture the shoppers saying: “These factory outlet stores are even better than I thought. Stuff is free!”
* It's been reported Michael Phelps may return for the 2016 Olympic Games and Olympic Trials. Based solely on this story, nine new restaurants and bars opened near CenturyLink Center Omaha.
* Phelps was spotted winning a tune-up race against a submarine and Shamu.
* Johnny Rodgers was granted a pardon Thursday by the Nebraska Board of Pardons. Now, the Husker everyone says clipped on Rodgers' famous punt return is demanding to be pardoned.
* A Cass County author who writes "gay, erotic, paranormal romance" stories involving werewolf sex is suing her publisher. Remember when we used to have authors like Willa Cather?
* President Obama mentioned a “grandfather clause” Thursday in reference to Obamacare. I believe that's when the rest of the family sits Grandpa down and, as delicately as possible, explains the policy he's had for 20 years has been canceled.
* Omaha local TV news pre-empted Obama's health-care press conference for a report on how the Nebraska Crossing Outlets' peanut store was marking down cashews. “Now, back to the president.”
* A total of 26,794 Americans were able to sign up for Obamacare on HealthCare.Gov in October. To put that in perspective, 26,796 Americans reported unicorn sightings.
* In the same time period, more than 28,000 Americans ordered the “Dean Martin Celebrity Roast” video.
* Obama said the health-care rollout “has been rough so far.” Obama said this in a press release penned by the new “Secretary of Understatements.”
* A wave of health insurance cancellation notices are being sent to Americans. Ironically, this might enough to save the Post Office.
* The Senate Banking Committee held a hearing for Federal Reserve chair nominee Janet Yellen. President Obama loves TV so much, I was pretty sure Suze Orman would get the nod.
* It's appropriate that the Senate will decide the fate of the Fed chair nominee, seeing as how the Senate's approval rating and the rates on a one-year CD are both hovering around .075 percent.
* Three years before the election, Chris Christie is the front-runner for the Republican presidential nomination. Let's see if he's still standing 40 contentious dinners, 50 brutal primaries and 1,200 ugly GOP debates from now.