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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* A couple of adventurers are planning to drive to the Arctic Circle in the dead of winter in a van. Initially, they were going to drive on some Omaha side streets, but then decided it'd be too icy.
* Sarah Palin will stop in Omaha on Nov. 22 to promote her new holiday-themed book: “How Obama Stole Christmas.” Wait, it's called “Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting The Heart of Christmas.”
* Over the weekend, Palin gave a speech in Iowa. It's official: She's now spent more time in the state of Iowa than she ever spent in Alaska.
* Two candidates have announced their intention to run for Omaha-area seats in the Nebraska Legislature in 2014. How do you prove you're qualified for the Legislature? Show up late for the press conference and then walk into a wall?
* One candidate is a 23-year-old Democrat and the other a 71-year-old Republican. For the first time ever, voters may be able to tell the legislative candidates apart.
* Grammy-winning rapper Eve canceled her VIP performance at the Nebraska Crossing Outlets on Thursday due to a scheduling conflict. Instead, she'll be appearing at the opening of a Kohl's in Fargo.
* In a new PreCheck lane at Eppley Airfield, passengers don't have to remove their shoes. To further expedite things at Eppley, there's a PreLost luggage lane, where they misplace your suitcase before you even take off.
* Walmart will open at 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving. This means many Americans will face the most difficult decision of their lives: leftovers or the Walmart discount bin.
* Kmart will open at 6 a.m. Thanksgiving morning. Remember when we used to get up early on Thanksgiving to put the bird in the oven? Now, we're rising to flip the bird at some guy who cut us off in the Kmart parking lot.
* Nothing says Thanksgiving like 1,000 people forming a human battering ram to knock down the doors to Kmart at 5:58.
* Due to a technical glitch, Walmart website's listed treadmills for $33 and computer monitors for $9. Kathleen Sebelius better not be involved in this one.
* Someone suggested this may be Walmart's employee discount, and everyone had a good laugh over that.
* The German magazine Der Spiegel has published part of Edward Snowden's “manifesto.” I'm afraid many Americans have let their subscription to Der Spiegel lapse.
* A heads up to Snowden: Anytime you want to be seen in a positive light, it's best not to pen anything that can be labeled a “manifesto.” Likewise, try to avoid living in a “compound.”
* A manifesto is pretty much a Ted Cruz speech in written form.