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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Miley Cyrus will play Omaha on March 6. If you're unfamiliar with Miley's act, it's pretty much the Council Bluffs Teen Mom, set to music.
* She won't perform at the CenturyLink Center. No, Miley will be singing atop a wrecking ball at an Omaha road construction site.
* Attention, fathers who are thinking of taking their impressionable six-year-old to see Hannah Montana: First, you may want to Google some of Miley's more recent work.
* Miley Cyrus tickets go on sale Nov. 16 and will be scooped up by pre-adolescents. Couldn't we get a better role model for pre-adolescents? I understand Marilyn Manson is free that night.
* Miley Cyrus and Sarah Palin are both scheduled to visit Omaha. You can already buy a commemorative pin with everything the two agree on written on its head.
* Omaha Mayor Jean Stothert has a message for the Fire Department. Surprisingly, it's fit to be printed in a family newspaper.
* Stothert will hold off on layoffs and keep rigs in service for a year if the Fire Department slashes its paramedic training program; she needs an answer by Friday. Game show contestants have longer to make up their minds.
* A new sports tavern at Ninth and Dodge Streets features 27 televisions and a dozen beers on tap. The challenge will be getting men to go home for Thanksgiving.
* Michael Jordan's lavish 56,000-square-foot home is up for auction. The right buyer is a corporate CEO, professional athlete or UNL administrator.
* Twitter officially goes public today. Instead of the Twitter IPO, yesterday, my financial adviser steered me into a chain of Blockbuster video stores.
* Blockbuster announced its remaining 300 stores will close by early January. This may mark a sea change in consumers' viewing habits and result from the meltdown of the American family, but more likely it's just because most movies stink.
* A group of sex workers and escorts have expressed support of the Affordable Care Act. I can picture President Obama: “It's OK, guys. We've got it covered.”
* I'd like to clear up some confusion: “Sex workers” and the U.S. Congress are two different groups.
* Las Vegas has put in a formal bid to host the 2016 Republican National Convention. I can sum up in one sentence why this is a bad idea: Chris Christie and all-you-can-eat buffets.
* Early Vegas odds on Newt Gingrich winning the nomination: 9 million to one.
* Dick Cheney recently criticized his daughter's opponent in the Wyoming Senate race. By “criticize,” I'm assuming that means he sent a warning Scud missile over campaign headquarters.
* The frontrunner for my favorite headline of the week, from USATODAY.com: “Crack-Smoking Toronto Mayor Refuses To Resign.”
* A mayoral candidate in Port Matilda, Pa., who failed to get his name off the ballot in time did everything he could not to be re-elected. That's worked out pretty well for Lee Terry's opponents over the years.
* He did everything possible not to win an election. That's called the “Anthony Weiner plan.”
* A former informant is suing the IRS. Here's a sentence I've always dreamed of typing: Let's hope the IRS saved all of its receipts.
* There's a new ranking of the best commercial airlines in the U.S. Isn't this sort of like arguing who's the smart guy in “Dumb and Dumber”?