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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* We gain an hour of sleep Saturday night. Well, we gain an hour. Whether people in Nebraska sleep depends on how the game against Northwestern that day went.
* Did you hear about this? On Halloween night, a Houston Texans quarterback tried to egg a house, and the egg was intercepted and returned for a touchdown.
* On Thursday, Jenny McCarthy dressed up in her Halloween costume: Miley Cyrus' tongue. This sounds like the first episode of "The View" I'm sorry I missed.
* For her Halloween costume, Miley Cyrus dressed as Lil' Kim. Ironically, Lil' Kim dressed as Miley, and nobody realized that either was in costume.
* Every Halloween, I like to tell one person in the office everybody is dressing up for Halloween. Then, when he shows up in his Smurf costume, we all have the biggest laugh.
* Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz said the Obamacare rollout has gone “off the rails.” Instead of a website, he favors having everyone in the U.S. receive a foam cup with your first name on it. You will get your health policy when your name's called.
* A small town mayor in Port Matilda, Pa., who failed to get his name off the ballot in time, is running for re-election with the slogan “Don't vote for me.” And it's not working, so he's thinking of switching to “Port Matilda sucks.”
* Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are engaged. It was very romantic. He got down on one knee and said, “I'm ready to be a regular on your reality show.”
* Of course, the big challenge was finding a ring on the planet that hadn't already been used to propose to Kim Kardashian.
* A New Hampshire elementary school has banned kids from playing tag. Another school has banned balls. This is all about safety. Anyway, on Thursday, kids were too busy going door-to-door and eating candy total strangers handed them to even notice.
* At his Monday press conference, Bo Pelini said: “I'm not a doctor.” Carl Pelini responded: “Too bad. I could use a prescription for something medicinal.”
* In the week since Huskers were defeated by Minnesota, there have been quite a few football experts on Twitter. Jeez, there's nothing like a loss to make a lot of people think they're Don Shula or Condoleezza Rice.
* A Texas high school football team won by a score of 91-0. Urban Meyer called it “the game of the week.”
* The Miami Dolphins defeated the Cincinnati Bengals, 22-20, via an overtime safety. The ending was so strange, fans thought they were watching the World Series.
* The 49ers and Jaguars played in London last Sunday to drum up interest in the NFL. It backfired. Seeing Jacksonville made the Brits appreciate soccer and cricket all the more.