Breaking Brad: Does the tea party hate Halloween? -
Published Thursday, October 31, 2013 at 2:22 pm / Updated at 2:46 pm
Breaking Brad: Does the tea party hate Halloween?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* Beginning Thursday at 12:30 p.m., Omaha's 84th and L intersection is closed to north- and southbound traffic while west- and eastbound traffic will be head to head in the west bound lanes. If you understand this, the emergency snow parking plan should be a piece of cake.

* Rhodes Scholars are standing around, mumbling: "Can you figure out this 84th and L Street thing? Me neither."

* Vice President Joe Biden said President Obama tried to log onto the Affordable Care Act website. To free up enough time to log on, Obama postponed his six-week vacation.

* Breaking news: The tea party just lambasted trick-or-treat candy as "unnecessary entitlements."

* This is a great combination: American kids eating way too much candy in a country with no functioning health care system.

* According to Forbes, Vladimir Putin is the most powerful person in the world. Sure, he's the only world leader with a Super Bowl ring.

* The NSA director testified before Congress. There was some confusion because the current Congress is sometimes also referred to as the NSA: the National Stupid Association.

* Members of the current Congress are so ineffectual, the NSA doesn't even bother to monitor their emails.

* Donald Trump has invited Vladimir Putin to attend the Miss Universe Pageant. Wise move. I think it's a good idea for the leader of Russia to occasionally be exposed to a group of people who value world peace.

* An Italy woman has left her entire $13.3 million fortune to her cat. You think that's stupid -- the parakeet is contesting the will.

* After winning the World Series, a member of the Boston Red Sox was life-flighted to the hospital. He had an ingrown whisker.

* After the Packers-Vikings game, Aaron Rodgers had a “super long” hug at midfield with ex-teammate Greg Jennings. Rodgers was whispering into Jennings' ear, trying to sell him an insurance policy.

* QB Jeff Garcia, 43, reached out to the Browns to let them know he's available. Just when you think the NFL has run out of reasons to fine Ndamukong Suh, it may get him for elder abuse.

Also from Brad: Here's how to steal an ATM

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Attorney: Man accused of trying to open plane's door needs psychiatric evaluation
49-year-old sentenced to 40-50 years for attempted sex assault of child
Brothers looking for pot sentenced for violent home invasion
At Boys Town panel, experts stress it's never too early to educate children
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Gov. Heineman calls 2014 a 'very good year for Nebraska taxpayers'
Ex-Iowan behind landmark free speech case recounts story in Bellevue
Arrest made in teen's shooting death at Benson's Gallagher Park
Section of 50th Street to close for bridge demolition
Nikko Jenkins found guilty of 4 murders
Rather than doing $250K in repairs, owner who lives in lot behind 94-year-old house in Dundee razes it
Plans for new $16M YMCA in Council Bluffs at 'critical juncture'
Woodmen request would take nearly $40M in valuation from tax rolls
With fixed AC, Fort Calhoun's nuclear station ends brief shutdown
Windy day could make driving difficult on east-west roads
Richard Brown steps down as Charles Drew Health Center CEO
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
OPD safety expo set for April 26
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Crew working to disassemble International Nutrition plant
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
18-year-old arrested in stolen-car case
U.S. Senate candidate Bart McLeay trails his 3 GOP rivals in fundraising
86-year-old Holdrege man killed in weekend collision
New police gang intervention specialist knows firsthand about getting involved with wrong crowd
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Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Jessica Lutton Bedient was killed by a drunken driver at age 26 in 2010. Thursday, the widowed husband and other family members will gather with others at the University of Nebraska at Omaha to dedicate a permanent memorial to Jessica.
Breaking Brad: How much would you pay for a corn dog?
The Arizona Diamondbacks have a new concession item: a $25 corn dog. For that kind of money, it should be stuffed with Bitcoin.
Breaking Brad: Pothole repair crew gets stuck in a pothole
In East Lansing, Mich., a pothole repair crew got stuck inside a pothole. How did this not happen in Omaha?
Breaking Brad: What do the moon, Colorado senators have in common?
How about that "blood red" moon Monday? It was as red as the eyes of a Colorado legislator.
Breaking Brad: Hey, Republicans, are you ready to be audited?
A quick list of audit red flags: 3) You fail to sign your return. 2) You fail to report income. 1) You are a registered Republican.
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