Breaking Brad: In which a woman gives birth at a bookstore - Omaha.com
Published Wednesday, October 30, 2013 at 1:12 pm / Updated at 1:47 pm
Breaking Brad: In which a woman gives birth at a bookstore

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.

* Suzanne Somers weighed in on Obamacare in a Wall Street Journal piece. A celebrity-obsessed American public is reserving judgment until it hears from Mickey Rourke, Kelly Clarkson and Michael Buble.

* Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius testified before Congress. Every time she tried to talk, there was some kind of glitch.

* Some Republicans are referring to Obamacare as the Hindenburg of health-care plans. That's an absurd comparison. The Hindenburg at least got off the ground.

* There's now reports the NSA hacked into Google and Yahoo! accounts. It may be time to take the ingenious NSA computer hackers and have them design a functioning Obamacare website.

* Ralph Lauren debuted the new Team USA Olympic uniforms Tuesday. All the Olympic outfits are encrypted with little listening devices, so our leaders can monitor the conversations of foreign athletes.

* Forbes' annual World's Most Powerful People rankings were released Wednesday. Big Ten Commissioner Jim Delany slipped to No. 2.

* The mayor of Port Matilda, Pa., is running for re-election with a slogan of “don't vote for me” after he failed to remove his name from the ballot in time. “Don't vote for me”? Didn't he steal that from Mitt Romney?

* A woman gave birth at a Los Angeles Barnes and Noble. That's appropriate. I can't think of any place more private than a bookstore in L.A.

* Customers realized something was awry when a man shouted: “Quick! Someone get me a how-to book on delivering a baby!”

* One Direction shared “childhood photos” with their fans of band members when they were kids. The photos were taken two weeks ago.

* At his Monday press conference, Bo Pelini said, “I'm not a doctor.” Two words why Bo couldn't be a doctor: “bedside manner.”

* A man in India is in the news because, at 14 feet, he's grown the world's longest mustache. He's just been named an honorary member of the Boston Red Sox.

* Boston Red Sox players have named their beards. This makes the Rally Monkey only the second dumbest thing I've seen in a World Series.

* Ex-New England Patriots WR Brandon Lloyd is set to star in a zombie movie with Daniel Baldwin. This sounds like a form of punishment meted out by the NFL commissioner.

* A Green Bay Packers fan finally has season tickets after spending 34 years on a waiting list. For spending 34 years on a waiting list, they should let him punt a couple of times.

Can I join you on that warm seat, Mr. Pelini?

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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