Breaking Brad: Are vets treating humans because of Obamacare? - Omaha.com
Published Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 10:33 am / Updated at 10:56 am
Breaking Brad: Are vets treating humans because of Obamacare?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* A popular Halloween costume for kids this year is the fireman costume. Mayor Stothert's office announced that any kids dressed as a fireman at her house will not receive any candy and will be unceremoniously escorted from the porch.

* The fireman costume for kids is not to be confused with the Omaha Fire Chief costume. Instead of candy, you ask for a six-figure pension.

* On Halloween, I plan to carry a bugged cellphone and go as Angela Merkel.

* This just in: The contractors who created the Obamacare website asked for help in carving their Halloween Jack-o'-lantern after encountering repeated glitches.

* A semi-truck carrying more than 100 pounds of marijuana was confiscated at the entrance to Offutt Air Base. A drug-sniffing dog was brought in, who I'm pretty sure was doing cartwheels.

* According to a CNN poll -- so we know it's unbiased -- more than six in ten Americans think House Speaker John Boehner should be removed from office in orderly, procedural fashion. The other four think he should be catapulted out of town.

* A majority of Americans feel that Boehner should be replaced as House Speaker. I believe the poll was conducted by CNN in conjunction with the “Tell Us Something We Don't Already Know” polling group.

* A Colorado veterinarian has been arrested for treating human patients. This better not have anything to do with the Obamacare rollout.

* There was another new glitch on the HealthCare.Gov website Sunday night. There's actually a new thing now: the "glitch du jour."

* The White House has granted an extension to give you time to navigate the Affordable Care Act website and sign up. I believe instead of mid-February, consumers now have “until pigs fly.”

* Sen. John McCain has called the Obamacare rollout “a fiasco.” I hate it when politicians sugarcoat things.

* The Obama administration claims the president didn't know about glitches with the site beforehand, nor did he know we tapped world leaders' phones. We've gone from "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country” to “don't look at me; I only work here.”

* George W. Bush defended President Obama's habit of playing golf as a good hobby for the president. Obama is so grateful, he said he's going to try to stop blaming Bush every time he gets a bogey.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Civil rights hearing to consider voting policies in Midwest
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Police: Slaying of woman in Ralston apartment likely over drugs
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Omaha police arrest man, 19, accused in March shooting
Earth gets its day in the sun at Elmwood Park
Beau McCoy strikes Obama doll in TV ad; Democrats are not happy
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Cult murderer's death row appeal denied, but execution in limbo
Interstate construction to cause lane shifts, closings in Omaha area
Kelly: A California university president returns to her Nebraska roots on Ivy Day
Omahan charged in fatal shooting in Benson neighborhood
Friday's attendance dips at Millard West after bathroom threat
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
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