It's been a tough year for Bottom 10 teams, with a near-record number of winless schools in late October. Not only that, but the point spreads in several games are being mistaken for the national debt ceiling.
1. Miami (Ohio) (0-7): The RedHawks retain the No. 1 ranking after a loss to Akron in the in-state-rivalry-nobody-much-cared-about game of the week.
2. Connecticut (0-6): Good news, UConn fans. The women's basketball season starts in less than two weeks.
3. Southern Mississippi (0-6): Southern Miss lost to East Carolina 55-14 Saturday. Kids are now learning geography by identifying all the teams in various parts of the country who defeat the Golden Eagles.
4. Western Michigan (0-8): The Broncos dropped a game to Ball State. Western Michigan's only hope was if Letterman had played quarterback for Ball State, and even then ... 5. Idaho (1-6):The Vandals are inspired by their new "It's always darkest before the dawn" team slogan.
6. Massachusetts (1-6): UMass is called the Minutemen because the game has typically been decided 60 seconds after kickoff.
7. Georgia State (0-7): The Panthers have fielded a football program for three years. The rest of you guys have no excuse.
8. New Mexico State (0-7): New Mexico State is located in Las Cruces, Spanish for “lopsided loss.”
9. North Carolina (1-5): The team played Miami on Thursday night. That's the new Tar Heel strategy — get the loss out of the way 48 hours early so students have three days to get over it before classes Monday.
10. Memphis (1-5): Memphis lost to SMU on Saturday. Team morale wasn't helped when its own cheerleaders piled into a bus and headed to the nearest sports bar after hearing Tennessee was about to upset South Carolina.
Others receiving votes: Purdue, FIU, Army, the Jacksonville Jaguars, Akron, Grambling State, Big Ten schedules, 11 a.m. start times, polls (all polls, every one), Eastern Michigan, California, Boston Red Sox beards, targeting and Hawaii.