Breaking Brad: Are Ted Cruz and the House stenographer BFFs? -
Published Friday, October 18, 2013 at 1:31 pm / Updated at 1:56 pm
Breaking Brad: Are Ted Cruz and the House stenographer BFFs?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

* * * * * * * * * *

Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning edition.

* A poll commissioned by the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee shows Pete Festersen with a narrow lead over Lee Terry. Now, consider the source. On Thursday, that same group released a separate poll showing that Bob Kerrey is closing the gap with Deb Fischer.

* There are more problems with the Obamacare website. People are signing up for the wrong plan, putting down inaccurate numbers and hitting send multiple times and getting duplicate policies. This is pretty much the cyber version of the maiden voyage of the Titanic.

* Federal government genius grants were awarded. The first went to some guy who was able to figure out the website to sign up for Obamacare.

* During the final vote to end the partial government shutdown, the House stenographer went on a nonsensical rant. Or, as Ted Cruz calls that, "a speech."

* Even the House stenographer can't stand being around those people.

* A new video shows Duchess Kate Middleton playing volleyball in platform wedges. That's when you know it's more of a photo op than a serious game. Very few serious athletes compete in wedges.

* Fox News' Ed Henry recently stormed out of a White House press briefing because White House spokesman Jay Carney refused to call on him. No word on why Carney refused to call on Henry, but I'm guessing it's because he works for Fox News.

* New York's attorney general is suing Trump University for supposedly steering students into useless seminars. I might need to have my lawyer talk to UNL about the 24 art history courses I took.

* The UFO spotted at a baseball game in Canada has been revealed as a hoax. Imagine if an actual UFO had landed on the pitcher's mound? That would have been the second most shocking story of the 2013 season, right after the Pittsburgh Pirates making the playoffs.

* A restaurant chain called Slater's 50/50 is selling a burger that's half-bacon, half-kangaroo. Americans figure if they eat enough of 'em, they'll grow a pouch to make it easier to carry their French fries home.

* The burger is half-bacon, half-kangaroo. If you eat them regularly, eventually you hop up to the drive-thru.

* It's official. Americans are now eating like a pack of starving lions on the African tundra.

* Vienna has banned people from kissing in public and talking loudly on cellphones. I'd write a joke here, but I'm rushing to catch the next plane to Vienna.

* Sad news: Kris and Bruce Jenner have separated. Having watched “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” a few times, if I'm Bruce, I'm not seeking custody of anyone.

* Nebraska announced a football series with Oregon for 2016 and 2017. Was Southern Mississippi unavailable? South Dakota State have a conflict?

* Creighton University has unveiled a new logo. It's a fan talking on a cellphone while sipping a latte.

* Tiger Woods' Jupiter Island, Fla., home is sinking. That's tough. One day, you're on top of the world; the next, you're divorced, sometimes struggling on the course and your home is a water hazard.

Also from Brad: Pete Festersen leads Lee Terry in (very opportunistic) poll

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Read more related stories
Last day of 2014 Legislature: Praise, passage of a last few bills and more on mountain lions
'The war is not over,' Chambers says, but legislative session about is
A recap of what got done — and what didn't — in the 2014 legislative session
PAC funded by Senate candidate Ben Sasse's great-uncle releases Shane Osborn attack ad
Teen killed at Gallagher Park was shot in head as he sat in SUV, friend who was wounded says
When judge asks, Nikko Jenkins says ‘I killed them’
New UNO center strengthens ties between campus, community
Threat found in Millard West bathroom deemed 'not credible'
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
Nebrasks health officials to advertise jobs via drive-thru
Coral Walker named Omaha police officer of the year
Sarah Palin, Mike Lee coming to Nebraska for Ben Sasse rally
Prescription drug drop-off is April 26
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
Rather than doing $250K in repairs, owner who lives in lot behind 94-year-old house in Dundee razes it
NB 30th Street lane closed
State Patrol, Omaha police conduct vehicle inspections
Bernie Kanger formally promoted to Omaha fire chief
U.S. House incumbents have deeper pockets than their challengers
Nancy's Almanac, April 17, 2014: Trees save money
Ex-Iowan behind landmark free speech case recounts story in Bellevue
Gov. Heineman signs water bill; sponsor calls it 'landmark legislation'
Senate candidate Shane Osborn to include anti-tax activist Norquist in telephone town hall
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
< >
Kelly: Creighton's McDermotts put good faces on an Omaha tradition
A comical roast Wednesday night in Omaha brought fans of Creighton basketball laughter by the bucketful. This time it was McJokes, not McBuckets, that entertained the Bluejay crowd.
Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
Breaking Brad: How many MECA board members can we put in a luxury suite?
As a stunt at the Blue Man Group show, MECA board members are going to see how many people they can stuff into one luxury suite.
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Jessica Lutton Bedient was killed by a drunken driver at age 26 in 2010. Thursday, the widowed husband and other family members will gather with others at the University of Nebraska at Omaha to dedicate a permanent memorial to Jessica.
Breaking Brad: How much would you pay for a corn dog?
The Arizona Diamondbacks have a new concession item: a $25 corn dog. For that kind of money, it should be stuffed with Bitcoin.
Deadline Deal thumbnail
Dr. Welbes Natural Health Clinic
$129 for 2 LipoLaser Sessions with Additional Complimentary Services ($605 value)
Buy Now
< >
Omaha World-Herald Contests
Enter for a chance to win great prizes.
OWH Store: Buy photos, books and articles
Buy photos, books and articles
Travel Snaps Photo
Going on Vacation? Take the Omaha World-Herald with you and you could the next Travel Snaps winner.
Click here to donate to Goodfellows
The 2011 Goodfellows fund drive provided holiday meals to nearly 5,000 families and their children, and raised more than $500,000 to help families in crisis year round.
Want to get World-Herald stories sent directly to your home or work computer? Sign up for's News Alerts and you will receive e-mails with the day's top stories.
Can't find what you need? Click here for site map »