Breaking Brad: Meet Ben Sasse, president of Hyperbole University -
Published Friday, October 11, 2013 at 8:21 am / Updated at 8:43 am
Breaking Brad: Meet Ben Sasse, president of Hyperbole University

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* On Thursday night, the International Space Station flew over Omaha. Of course, because it was Omaha air space, the space station was detoured to Wichita.

* With all of our potholes, from space, Omaha looks like the moon, only with more craters.

* An 8- to 10-ft hole opened up Wednesday night on Interstate 80 in Council Bluffs. Tourists who couldn't get into the closed Grand Canyon gathered 'round.

* Some national media descended on the Interstate hole. How cool would it have been if, when all the TV cameras went live from the hole, the Council Bluffs Teen Mom crawled out?

* This is new low for the area -- potholes that you'd have to be airlifted out of.

* Ben Sasse launched his bid for U.S. Senate in Nebraska by claiming that if Obamacare survives, the U.S. won't. Sasse is the president of Hyperbole University ... I mean, Midland University.

* The president of Midland University is running for Senate. Instead, Harvey Perlman should run, and he can pay down the federal debt by raising everybody's tuition.

* A new boxing gym is opening in West Omaha at 182nd Street and West Center Road. The goal is obviously to get kids off the mean streets of West 182nd.

* Americans are expected to spend $330 million this year on Halloween costumes for their pets. If the GOP finds out any of this is welfare money, the government may never reopen.

* Jesse “The Body” Ventura said he may run for president in 2016. You think there's a lot of acrimony in Washington, D.C., now -- wait until the president body-slams the Speaker of the House.

* The federal government shutdown is leading to all kinds of cutbacks. For example, on Thanksgiving, President Obama will pardon the White House goat.

* There is yet another federal government closure. The corner that John Boehner painted himself into is shutting down.

* Twenty House Republicans visited the White House on Thursday and talked with President Obama for 90 minutes. Then, Obama had to rush off for a two-hour visit with Soleil Moon Frye and Danny Bonaduce.

* Obama and members of the House met inside the White House Roosevelt Room. Why do they have to drag the name “Roosevelt” into this mess? Isn't there a White House Quayle Room or a Gilligan Room where it'd be more appropriate to meet?

* The meeting "went better than expected." That means no Republicans fell through trap doors at the White House, and after they left, nobody rang the White House doorbell and left burning dog poop on the porch.

* The Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons has won the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize. Dennis Rodman is demanding a recount.

* It's just one embarrassing mistake after another for Congress. Today, in an attempt to pay down our debt, members bet $1 trillion on Jacksonville to beat the Denver Broncos.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Omaha police investigate two nonfatal shootings
Easter Sunday temperatures climb into 80s in Omaha area
City Council to vote on adding Bluffs pedestrian safety lights
Sole big donor to Beau McCoy says he expects nothing in return
Convicted killer Nikko Jenkins might await his sentence in prison
Kelly: 70 years after a deadly D-Day rehearsal, Omahan, WWII vet will return to Europe
Midlands runners ready for Boston Marathon
Families from area shelters treated to meal at Old Chicago
Firefighters battle brush fire near Fontenelle Forest
Sioux City riverboat casino prepares to close, still hoping to be saved
Omaha high schoolers to help canvass for Heartland 2050
Mizzou alumni aim to attract veterinary students to Henry Doorly Zoo
Grant ensures that Sioux City can start building children's museum
Party looks to 'nudge' women into public office in Iowa
For birthday, Brownell-Talbot student opts to give, not get
Two taken to hospital after fire at Benson home
Grace: Pipe organ concert a tribute to couple's enduring love
Omaha-area jails and ERs new front line in battling mental illness
Civil rights hearing to consider voting policies in Midwest
17 senators in Nebraska Legislature hit their (term) limits
It's a pursuit of pastel at Spring Lake Park's Easter egg hunt
Financial picture improving for city-owned Mid-America Center
No injuries after fire at midtown's old Mercer Mansion
29-year-old Omahan arrested for 22nd time in Lincoln
Police: Slaying of woman in Ralston apartment likely over drugs
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