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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.
* A hole 8- to 10-feet deep opened up on Interstate 80 in Council Bluffs overnight. Before road crews could fix it, a new Scooters and a Walgreens opened inside.
* An 8- to 10-foot "pothole" opened up on Interstate 80 in Council Bluffs. That's not a pothole; it's a basement.
* Because we're running out of funds to repair roads, in Omaha, we'd just put up a sign reading "Dip."
* House Republicans are suggesting a new use for NASA's 55-foot robotic arm. They want to use it to pull President Obama out of the White House and force him to negotiate.
* As a result of the shutdown, most government research has been halted. Oh, no. Now, we'll never learn the results of that $20 billion study to see if mice can be taught to cha cha.
* This weekend, Burger Kings are giving away free Satisfries. Well, that's a step in the right direction. National parks are closed, but you show me one American who'd rather visit a stupid waterfall or geyser than get a free bag of fries.
* Free Satisfries. The line at the Dodge Street Burger King is expected to stretch to Chimney Rock.
* The New York Times reports the NSA is checking Americans' Facebook accounts. After studying our Facebook accounts on a daily basis for many months, the NSA has reached a conclusion: Americans are really messed up.
* The NSA is checking our Facebook accounts. This may be the first good reason to keep that Myspace account open.
* I'm going to update my status to “Suspicious."
* Mick Jagger is about to become a great-grandfather. That's when you know you're a little old to still be wearing tights.
* A Houston restaurant offered a “Matt Schaub burger,” where you “pick six” ingredients. Not only that, but there are also plans for a “Tony Romo burger,” where the waiter fumbles it all over you.
* A Los Angeles Dodgers fan is so into the team, he got a huge tattoo of Dodger Stadium over his entire head. And even this guy leaves in the eighth inning to beat traffic.