Breaking Brad: Free French fries alert, free French fries alert - Omaha.com
Published Thursday, October 10, 2013 at 1:59 pm / Updated at 3:11 pm
Breaking Brad: Free French fries alert, free French fries alert

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.

* A hole 8- to 10-feet deep opened up on Interstate 80 in Council Bluffs overnight. Before road crews could fix it, a new Scooters and a Walgreens opened inside.

* An 8- to 10-foot "pothole" opened up on Interstate 80 in Council Bluffs. That's not a pothole; it's a basement.

* Because we're running out of funds to repair roads, in Omaha, we'd just put up a sign reading "Dip."

* House Republicans are suggesting a new use for NASA's 55-foot robotic arm. They want to use it to pull President Obama out of the White House and force him to negotiate.

* As a result of the shutdown, most government research has been halted. Oh, no. Now, we'll never learn the results of that $20 billion study to see if mice can be taught to cha cha.

* This weekend, Burger Kings are giving away free Satisfries. Well, that's a step in the right direction. National parks are closed, but you show me one American who'd rather visit a stupid waterfall or geyser than get a free bag of fries.

* Free Satisfries. The line at the Dodge Street Burger King is expected to stretch to Chimney Rock.

* The New York Times reports the NSA is checking Americans' Facebook accounts. After studying our Facebook accounts on a daily basis for many months, the NSA has reached a conclusion: Americans are really messed up.

* The NSA is checking our Facebook accounts. This may be the first good reason to keep that Myspace account open.

* I'm going to update my status to “Suspicious."

* Mick Jagger is about to become a great-grandfather. That's when you know you're a little old to still be wearing tights.

* A Houston restaurant offered a “Matt Schaub burger,” where you “pick six” ingredients. Not only that, but there are also plans for a “Tony Romo burger,” where the waiter fumbles it all over you.

* A Los Angeles Dodgers fan is so into the team, he got a huge tattoo of Dodger Stadium over his entire head. And even this guy leaves in the eighth inning to beat traffic.

Also from Brad: Why you wanna furlough the fish, D.C.?

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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