Breaking Brad: Is Kobe Bryant anti-Obamacare? -
Published Tuesday, October 8, 2013 at 10:25 am / Updated at 11:03 am
Breaking Brad: Is Kobe Bryant anti-Obamacare?

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* Mayor Jean Stothert has adopted a dog named Lily who has been proclaimed "First Puppy of Omaha." It's sort of like being the bike czar, only with more official duties.

* Stothert has adopted a new puppy. Good for her. I don't know what breed it is, but we can pretty much rule out a dalmatian.

* After he initially opted not to run against Lee Terry to be with his family, Pete Festersen is reconsidering. This means one of two things: either Festersen was encouraged by Terry's verbal misstep, or Festersen's family isn't all that interesting after all.

* The Nebraska quintuplets have all started learning how to drive. So parents who are under a lot of stress this week, take solace in that things could be worse.

* It's expected to go well, except for those $3 million monthly insurance premiums Dad will be paying.

* I read that this year Americans are expected to spend less money on Halloween costumes for their pets. Even if everyone in America spends a collective 89 cents on Halloween costumes for their pets, it's way too much.

* Americans are finally cutting back. The bad news? They're buying a less expensive trick-or-treat costume for the Schnauzer.

* According to a Des Moines Register poll, Iowa Democrats want a “fresh face" in 2016. It's not as if the Des Moines Register speaks for all liberals in Iowa -- oh, wait, it pretty much does.

* The Nobel Prize in Physics has been awarded to two men who discovered a mechanism that led to an understanding of mass subatomic particles confirmed from the discovery of fundamental particles of the ATLAS and CMS experiments. I'll explain what this means just as soon as I figure out how to program my car radio.

* The Nobel Prize in Medicine has been announced. It went to a community college student who became the first American to successfully navigate the Affordable Care Act website and sign up for Obamacare.

* The White House is trying to eliminate glitches on the Affordable Care Act sign-up website. Due to the government shutdown, President Obama called the Geek Squad.

* There was a purported mountain lion sighting in Washington, D.C. Apparently someone is upset his national park was closed and is taking his complaint directly to Congress.

* USA Today reports the Miley Cyrus-Sinead O'Connor feud has “escalated.” Considering his love of celebrities, President Obama is much more concerned with these tensions than the ones in Syria.

* Hillary Clinton has recently spoken at a women's institute, a black women's sorority, to college students, at a Jewish university hospital, to senior citizens and to a gay organization. The only way it could be clearer she's running for president is if she takes a bus through Iowa while leaning out the window kissing babies.

* A highway bridge in Green Bay, Wis., suddenly sagged two feet. If this happened in Omaha, the bridge would be closed for, like, 65 years to fix it.

* According to a new study, the No. 1 job skill employees will need in 2020: empathy. This means almost everybody in the current Congress will be unemployed.

* Kobe Bryant is going to undergo knee treatment in Germany. Another blow to Obamacare.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Sioux City riverboat casino prepares to close, still hoping to be saved
Omaha high schoolers to help canvass for Heartland 2050
Mizzou alumni aim to attract veterinary students to Henry Doorly Zoo
Grant ensures that Sioux City can start building children's museum
Party looks to 'nudge' women into public office in Iowa
For birthday, Brownell-Talbot student opts to give, not get
Sole big donor to Beau McCoy says he expects nothing in return
Two taken to hospital after fire at Benson home
Grace: Pipe organ concert a tribute to couple's enduring love
Omaha-area jails and ERs new front line in battling mental illness
Convicted killer Nikko Jenkins might await his sentence in prison
Kelly: 70 years after a deadly D-Day rehearsal, Omahan, WWII vet will return to Europe
Civil rights hearing to consider voting policies in Midwest
Firefighters battle brush fire near Fontenelle Forest
17 senators in Nebraska Legislature hit their (term) limits
It's a pursuit of pastel at Spring Lake Park's Easter egg hunt
Financial picture improving for city-owned Mid-America Center
No injuries after fire at midtown's old Mercer Mansion
29-year-old Omahan arrested for 22nd time in Lincoln
Police: Slaying of woman in Ralston apartment likely over drugs
Explosion near 29th, Woolworth damages vehicles
Omaha police arrest man, 19, accused in March shooting
Earth gets its day in the sun at Elmwood Park
Beau McCoy strikes Obama doll in TV ad; Democrats are not happy
Keystone XL pipeline backers blast 'political expediency' as foes hail ruling to delay decision
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Kelly: 70 years after a deadly D-Day rehearsal, Omahan, WWII vet will return to Europe
A World War II veteran from Omaha will return this week to Europe to commemorate a tragedy in the run-up to D-Day.
Dickson’s Week in Review, April 13-19
On Twitter some guy tweeted that the spring game isn’t taken as seriously as a regular-season contest. What was your first clue? When the head coach entered waving a cat aloft?
Kelly: A California university president returns to her Nebraska roots on Ivy Day
The main speaker at today's Ivy Day celebration at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln is a college president who grew up roping calves and earned her Ph.D. at the prestigious Oxford University in England.
Breaking Brad: Stuck in a claw machine? You get no Easter candy
I know of one kid in Lincoln who will be receiving a lump of coal from the Easter Bunny, just as soon as he's extricated from that bowling alley claw machine.
Breaking Brad: Mountain lion season's over, but the bunny's fair game!
Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
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