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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* Here's an amazing story: At a zoo in China, a dog is nursing a pack of motherless tiger cubs. What a world it is when a dog can nurse a tiger yet Democrats and Republicans in Washington can find zero common ground.
* Due to the federal government shutdown, a couple that planned to marry on the rim of the Grand Canyon had to cancel the wedding. The damage really hits home when a couple that planned to tie to knot on the Grand Canyon's rim are hitched by an Elvis impersonator in Reno.
* Tea party members are being referred to as "unruly" in print. Just because a shirtless John Boehner was seen fleeing the House chambers in terror?
* A plan to fund the government piecemeal appears to be near dead. That's OK because we'll be voting these people out of office en masse.
* Also a result of the shutdown, the Air Force-Navy football game may not be played. Even if it is played, a private citizen will have to donate a coin for the opening flip.
* This weekend, President Obama is scheduled to fly to Asia. Idea: Put Obama in a middle seat between John Boehner and Ted Cruz, and the plane can't land until a deal is reached.
* On the first day of the Obamacare marketplaces, about 2.8 million Web users visited HealthCare.Gov. That sounds like a lot until you consider that 2.9 million were on the page "Can this M&M get more likes than Miley Cyrus."
* There's much media speculation that Russian President Vladimir Putin recently tied the knot with a former Olympic gymnast. There's so much emphasis on sports in Russia that, if you perform well in the Olympics, you get to marry the president.
* Putin and his bride were registered at the House of Potatoes.
* Skeptics are questioning Diana Nyad's record swim from Cuba to Florida. In this Lance Armstrong-Ryan Braun era, let's just hope no video emerges of her water-skiing behind the boat.
* A jury has been seated in Mark Cuban's insider-trading case. It doesn't look good for Mark. The jury includes three NBA refs.
* Four NFL centers are endorsing a new line of moisturized men's butt wipes. I can picture that phone call from a player's agent. "Hey, I got you an endorsement deal." "What am I gonna endorse -- a men's hair care product, an automobile?" "You better sit down."
* You would think instead they would want to take advantage of one of the other endorsement opportunities available to NFL centers. On second thought, congratulations!
* Moisturized men's butt wipes? That sounds like a product they'd trot out in the last two minutes of "Shark Tank."
* The WWE will co-produce the next animated "Flintstones" movie. I'm looking forward to the pivotal scene, where Barney places Mr. Slate in a claw hold while Fred pile-drives him.