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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.
* Mayor Jean Stothert spoke Thursday at the Omaha Press Club to observe her 100th day in office, which occurred last week. In honor of her 100th day in office, some Stothert supporters wanted to hold a parade but couldn't find one street in Omaha not closed for repairs.
* Stothert should feel good. She made it past that critical 50th day in office, when many Omaha mayors are recalled.
* There was a brief period of heavy rain in Omaha early Friday. It was depressing seeing all the orange traffic barrels bobbing in the water like so many buoys.
* Johnny Rodgers is seeking a pardon for his 1971 robbery conviction. Because with the Bo Pelini audiotape, the divided Husker Nation and three quarterbacks all playing essentially even, there just isn't enough controversy surrounding the program.
* A man ran the Quad-Cities Marathon backward while juggling. You know who I feel sorry for? The guy who trains for the marathon for five years and is photographed at the finish line finishing behind a guy juggling and running backward.
* USA Today reports the state of Iowa is now issuing gun permits to the blind. We can't complain too much in Omaha, where the blind can get driver's licenses.
* Billionaire George Soros has tied the knot. His bride is not Jean Stothert, so there goes our last chance of balancing the Omaha budget.
* The U.S. and Russia have reached an historic Syrian chemical arms agreement. This comes after President Obama threatened to send Sen. Ted Cruz to the Kremlin to read "Green Eggs and Ham."
* The U.S. and Russia reached an agreement on chemical arms. How stupid is this going to make Republicans and Democrats in Congress when they can't agree to not shut down the government on Monday?
* Nuclear talks with Iran are under way. OK, if an accord is also reached here, members of Congress are gonna look like even bigger doofuses.
* Leonardo DiCaprio will portray President Woodrow Wilson in an upcoming biopic. In the name of research, President Obama graciously invited DiCaprio to move into the White House and join the other 39 celebrities already living there.
* Fox News has shuffled its prime-time lineup. This represents the biggest shake-up in the Republican Party in 20 years.
* Texas Gov. Rick Perry compared Obamacare to the Titanic. And this is one of the more flattering Obamacare analogies by Republicans.
* Brazil's president canceled a scheduled trip to the White House because the NSA reportedly monitored her emails, text messages and calls. Fingers crossed the audiotapes don't surface on Deadspin.
* As part of an experiment, Panera Bread's CEO lived on $4.50 a day for a week. I guess he didn't eat any meals at Panera Bread.
* This is not to be confused with the CEO of Radio Shack, who lived on $4.50 per day out of necessity.