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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read his morning jokes.
* At a 5K Mud Run in Blair, Neb., on Saturday, participants are encouraged to wear Halloween costumes. Just when you think road runs around here can't get weirder, we could see Frankenstein racing for the finish line against Barack Obama, both covered in mud.
* Some Republicans are trying to link the vote to keep the government open to Obamacare. The only way this gets worse is if some staunch conservatives tie keeping the government open to a bill requiring animals in our national parks to wear pants.
* Unless this gets worked out, there will be a "partial government shutdown" on Oct. 1. Those oafs in Washington can't even commit to completely closing the government; it's a partial shutdown.
* With the federal government on the brink of shutdown, there have been emergency cuts in Washington. Now, three members of Congress share a brain, instead of the normal two.
* Online video has surfaced of a birthday party for a porcupine. Just when you think Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday morning can't get less appealing.
* A South Carolina woman allegedly stabbed her roommate, who's OK, because he wouldn't stop listening to the Eagles. If I'm the defense attorney, I'm looking for 12 jurors familiar with "Hotel California."
* Pamela Anderson will run the New York City Marathon. In an ode to her role on "Baywatch," she'll be running all 26.2 miles in slow motion.
* In the wake of the Bo Pelini audiotape, allegations of college players being paid, NFL scandals and a rash of bizarre on-field rulings, I call for a return to normalcy in football. Adam "Pacman" Jones is in trouble with the law. OK, that's a start.
* Joe Buck is engaged to Michelle Beisner of the NFL Network. The couple plans a small, intimate wedding in front of a handful of witnesses. It will air on the NFL Network in prime-time.
* The Pittsburgh Pirates clinched a playoff berth for the first time in 21 years. I'd like to caution players and fans in Pittsburgh not to get cocky and expect to make it every 21 years.
* The Omaha Lancers play their season opener tonight at Ralston Arena. For you Omahans who have never been to a Lancers game, picture a beerfest with ice.