Breaking Brad: The Senate apparently doesn't like green eggs and ham -
Published Thursday, September 26, 2013 at 9:38 am / Updated at 10:22 am
Breaking Brad: The Senate apparently doesn't like green eggs and ham

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* The River City Rodeo starts Thursday in Omaha. There is a distinct Omaha flavor. Instead of barrel jumping, they're gonna use orange traffic cones.

* An eastbound lane of F Street from 38th to 37th Streets is restricted for three to four days. In the wake of World-Herald reportage on the Bo Pelini audiotape, I need to emphasize that "F Street" is the actual name of the street. It's not short for a profane word.

* There is no Husker football game this weekend. You know you're too into the team if you plan to do n red overalls and a rubber corncob head and sit in front of an unplugged TV reminiscing about the '71 Oklahoma game.

* The N.Y. Yankees failed to make the MLB playoffs and the Pittsburgh Pirates are in. This is sort of like Daniel Day-Lewis being snubbed by the motion picture academy and Pauly Shore getting the nod.

* Cher will perform at Lincoln's Pinnacle Bank Arena on May 30. It's part of Pinnacle Bank Arena's "Your Move, CenturyLink Center Omaha" series.

* A little trivia -- it took longer to build Cher than it did the Pinnacle Bank Arena.

* Johnny Rodgers is seeking a pardon for a 1971 robbery conviction. Perfect timing. Husker Nation had gone almost 48 hours without a polarizing controversy.

* The U.S. Senate voted 100-0 to avert a government shutdown on Wednesday. Then, the U.S. Senate voted 99-1 to not hear any more of "Green Eggs and Ham."

* On the Senate floor, Sen. Ted Cruz talked nonstop for over 21 hours. Or, as President Bill Clinton used to call a 21-hour speech: "The State of the Union address."

* In those 21 hours, Sen. Cruz's topics ranged from Obamacare, to "Star Wars," to "Green Eggs and Ham." It felt like an audition for "The View."

* Cruz blamed Washington's inability to listen to constituents on D.C.'s cherry blossoms. That makes as much sense as anything anyone in the current Congress has said.

* Cruz was accused by some of enjoying orchestrating stunts. He denied that today as he arrived in the Senate pedaling a unicycle while juggling lemons.

* An open mic at the U.N. General Assembly caught President Obama saying he has quit smoking because he's afraid of his wife. A note to bad guys in Syria, Russian President Vladimir Putin and all of our disappointing allies: You are not his wife.

* First Lady Michelle Obama has a new campaign to encourage Americans to drink more water. The way things work in Washington, we'll learn this was pushed by the urinal lobby.

* Rush Limbaugh has written a children's book. I believe it's called "You Kids, Get Off My Lawn!"

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Sioux City riverboat casino prepares to close, still hoping to be saved
Omaha high schoolers to help canvass for Heartland 2050
Mizzou alumni aim to attract veterinary students to Henry Doorly Zoo
Grant ensures that Sioux City can start building children's museum
Party looks to 'nudge' women into public office in Iowa
For birthday, Brownell-Talbot student opts to give, not get
Sole big donor to Beau McCoy says he expects nothing in return
Two taken to hospital after fire at Benson home
Grace: Pipe organ concert a tribute to couple's enduring love
Omaha-area jails and ERs new front line in battling mental illness
Convicted killer Nikko Jenkins might await his sentence in prison
Kelly: 70 years after a deadly D-Day rehearsal, Omahan, WWII vet will return to Europe
Civil rights hearing to consider voting policies in Midwest
Firefighters battle brush fire near Fontenelle Forest
17 senators in Nebraska Legislature hit their (term) limits
It's a pursuit of pastel at Spring Lake Park's Easter egg hunt
Financial picture improving for city-owned Mid-America Center
No injuries after fire at midtown's old Mercer Mansion
29-year-old Omahan arrested for 22nd time in Lincoln
Police: Slaying of woman in Ralston apartment likely over drugs
Explosion near 29th, Woolworth damages vehicles
Omaha police arrest man, 19, accused in March shooting
Earth gets its day in the sun at Elmwood Park
Beau McCoy strikes Obama doll in TV ad; Democrats are not happy
Keystone XL pipeline backers blast 'political expediency' as foes hail ruling to delay decision
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