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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* Cher will perform at the Pinnacle Bank Arena on May 30. She has a long history with eastern Nebraska. The first time Cher passed through the area, she was riding shotgun for Lewis and Clark.
* Ex-NFL WR Keyshawn Johnson was the first contender voted off "Dancing with the Stars." Now, he has to somehow face the future as a professional athlete who lost a test of balance and coordination to Bill Nye and the gal who played "Rhoda."
* There is one week left to avert a government shutdown. You know what that means. Members of Congress are about to begin a six-day recess and will then race back to Washington, D.C., the morning of the scheduled shutdown to try to fix it.
* The Pittsburgh Pirates clinched a playoff berth. I believe the last time that happened, the Pirates received a congratulatory call from President Truman.
* It was surprising to many the 2013 Pittsburgh Pirates clinched a playoff spot. Surprising to no one: they beat the Cubs to qualify.
* The world’s shortest woman visited New York City for the first time. I’m trying to confirm she rode through town on a big rat.
* The world’s shortest woman is 24.7 inches tall. Even she complained: "How can you people live in apartments this tiny?"
* Ricky Williams was named running backs coach at University of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio. Williams said this is the second-biggest thrill this year, right after the day Twinkies returned.
* The NFL is reviewing an "elbow shot" delivered by Ndamukong Suh in Week 2. At the current rate, eventually a Suh belch will be reviewed by the league.
* The NFL sent memos to players as a reminder that faking injuries is not allowed. If this works out, the league plans to send players memos reminding them that felonies are not allowed.
* Legendary WWE announcer Jim Ross is retiring. He’s perhaps best known for the call, "As God is my witness, he is broken in half!" Top that, Al Michaels.