Breaking Brad: Sooners look squeaky clean amid Oklahoma State allegations -
Published Monday, September 23, 2013 at 12:30 pm / Updated at 12:32 pm
Breaking Brad: Sooners look squeaky clean amid Oklahoma State allegations

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* Monday Night Football features the Oakland Raiders at Denver. Of course, the big question: Can Raiders fans adjust to breaking the law at altitude?

* An actress from "Nurse Jackie," Merritt Wever, won an Emmy and gave an 11-word acceptance speech. How fast can we elect her to Congress?

* You're familiar with the Emmys? It's the awards ceremony where the jewelry is real and the people are fake.

* The people at the Emmys made Miley Cyrus look overdressed at the Video Music Awards.

* Pope Francis denounced the idolatry of money. I believe the rebuttal is at 6 p.m. on CNBC.

* “Building Hope” is the theme for the current school year in Westside Community Schools. I believe the OPS theme is: “Anybody know who's superintendent?”

* Either that or, “A full inch of snow? Cancel school.”

* The president of Iran wrote an op-ed for the Washington Post in an attempt to improve relations with the U.S. The Iranian president still doesn't get it. He said unless the op-ed gets 20,000 views online, he's gonna start taking hostages.

* Sen. John McCain is feuding with members of the Los Angeles Dodgers. With the government on the brink of shutting down, trouble in Syria and a historic debate over Obamacare, at least members of the Senate are focusing on what really matters.

* There were long lines outside Apple stores all weekend to buy the new iPhones. The best thing is, after purchasing an iPhone, you can go to the back of the line and wait to purchase the new model that will replace it in a few weeks.

* Oklahoma State boosters allegedly paid football players. Did you ever think there'd come a day when Oklahoma is the cleanest program in the state?

* Oklahoma State players were allegedly paid for a summer job where all they did was fish. Players at Alabama, Auburn and Georgia said, “And the problem is ...?”

* According to a report, Rex Ryan, in pregame remarks to his team, once threatened to punch Bill Belichick in the face when they met before the game. This sounds like the first NFL pregame show I'd be interested in watching.

* Fortunately, Belichick overheard the remarks on the hidden mics he keeps in the visitors' locker room and didn't go to midfield.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Sioux City riverboat casino prepares to close, still hoping to be saved
Omaha high schoolers to help canvass for Heartland 2050
Mizzou alumni aim to attract veterinary students to Henry Doorly Zoo
Grant ensures that Sioux City can start building children's museum
Party looks to 'nudge' women into public office in Iowa
For birthday, Brownell-Talbot student opts to give, not get
Sole big donor to Beau McCoy says he expects nothing in return
Two taken to hospital after fire at Benson home
Grace: Pipe organ concert a tribute to couple's enduring love
Omaha-area jails and ERs new front line in battling mental illness
Convicted killer Nikko Jenkins might await his sentence in prison
Kelly: 70 years after a deadly D-Day rehearsal, Omahan, WWII vet will return to Europe
Civil rights hearing to consider voting policies in Midwest
Firefighters battle brush fire near Fontenelle Forest
17 senators in Nebraska Legislature hit their (term) limits
It's a pursuit of pastel at Spring Lake Park's Easter egg hunt
Financial picture improving for city-owned Mid-America Center
No injuries after fire at midtown's old Mercer Mansion
29-year-old Omahan arrested for 22nd time in Lincoln
Police: Slaying of woman in Ralston apartment likely over drugs
Explosion near 29th, Woolworth damages vehicles
Omaha police arrest man, 19, accused in March shooting
Earth gets its day in the sun at Elmwood Park
Beau McCoy strikes Obama doll in TV ad; Democrats are not happy
Keystone XL pipeline backers blast 'political expediency' as foes hail ruling to delay decision
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The main speaker at today's Ivy Day celebration at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln is a college president who grew up roping calves and earned her Ph.D. at the prestigious Oxford University in England.
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I know of one kid in Lincoln who will be receiving a lump of coal from the Easter Bunny, just as soon as he's extricated from that bowling alley claw machine.
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Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
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