Breaking Brad: 'I'm A Boliever' tattoos could be political difference-maker -
Published Monday, September 23, 2013 at 12:01 am / Updated at 11:44 am
Breaking Brad: 'I'm A Boliever' tattoos could be political difference-maker

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* Derek Fey of Omaha won the Omaha Marathon in 2:35:53. With all the road construction in town, it took him two hours, 37 minutes to drive home.

* Omaha officials were going to close some city streets for the marathon, but they couldn't find any that weren't already closed.

* After finishing, Fey announced he is retiring from marathon running. If you've ever run a marathon, you know that of the 1,000 marathon entrants, about 950 others said the same thing.

* The Omaha Marathon course keeps getting easier, to attract more participants. At this rate, by 2022 you will be able to take the bus halfway.

* Beginning Monday, a section of the Keystone Trail near 72nd Street will be closed for repairs. We have bottomed out. Now you can't go hiking in Omaha without encountering orange barrels.

* Many are trying to capitalize on the newfound popularity of Nebraska's football coach. Two gubernatorial candidates are planning to get “I'm A Boliever” tattoos.

* There is a new movement in college football. On Saturday, players from Northwestern, Georgia and Georgia Tech wore wristbands reading “APU,” which stands for “All Players United.” Except at Oklahoma State, where it stands for: “Alumni Pay Us.”

* The movement is APU. Bo Pelini calls it APFU.

* The Republican-led U.S. Congress voted to reduce the food stamp program. Republicans are targeting those on food stamps, the Obama administration is targeting the wealthy, and both appear focused on completely destroying the shrinking middle class. So it looks like Washington has it covered.

* The U.S. Congress voted to reduce the food-stamp program by five percent. This, after members of Congress realized not one person on food stamps has ever made a six-figure donation to their re-election campaigns.

* It looks like there may be a government shutdown unless Democrats and Republicans in the House and Senate can agree on a stopgap measure. If you follow politics closely, you know there are better odds of pigs flying over the Pentagon.

* Democrats and Republicans in the House and Senate must agree to stave off a government shutdown. To get the odds of this happening, figure the odds of winning last week's $400 million Powerball lottery and then double 'em.

* There are better odds of getting hit by lightning while being attacked by a shark.

* According to a new World Happiness Report, Canada is one of the six happiest nations in the world. Obviously the data was gathered during the Stanley Cup finals.

* The U.S. finished 17th in the happiness report, just behind Mexico. Do all those people coming across the border into the U.S. realize they're losing one spot on the happiness scale?

* A lady has been unofficially deemed the world's most polite person. She flew to New York City to pick up her award, and within two minutes of landing was cursing, spitting and flipping off cab drivers.

* Reportedly, Pippa Middleton may be secretly engaged. When he asked her to spend her life with him, Barbara Walters popped up in the back seat shouting: “She will! She will!”

* Mike Tyson has launched a career as a boxing promoter to try and restore the image of boxing. If this ex-con with the facial tattoo who once bit part of the ear off a competitor can't restore the image of boxing, who can?

* Professional golfer Pawel Japol shot a 109 in his opening round at the European Challenge event. Now millions of golfers around the world can legitimately say when asked: “My game? Oh, I'm playing like a pro.”

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

Explosive device blows hole in windshield, damages another car
Financial picture improving for city-owned Mid-America Center
19-year-old arrested in connection with March shooting
No injuries after fire at midtown's old Mercer Mansion
17 senators in Nebraska Legislature hit their (term) limits
Keystone XL pipeline backers blast 'political expediency' as foes hail ruling to delay decision
29-year-old Omahan arrested for 22nd time in Lincoln
Nebraska senators to study tax issues over break
Portion of Saddle Creek Road closed after water main break
Teenager arrested after woman's purse is snatched outside Omaha store
Police identify 21-year-old shot in ankle near 30th, W Streets
Cult murderer's death row appeal denied, but execution in limbo
Beau McCoy strikes Obama doll in TV ad; Democrats are not happy
Police: Slaying of woman in Ralston apartment likely over drugs
Interstate construction to cause lane shifts, closings in Omaha area
Kelly: A California university president returns to her Nebraska roots on Ivy Day
Omahan charged in fatal shooting in Benson neighborhood
Friday's attendance dips at Millard West after bathroom threat
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
Crack ring's leaders join others in prison as a result of Operation Purple Haze
Haze in area comes from Kansas, Oklahoma
Man taken into custody in domestic dispute
Omaha judge reprimanded for intervening in peer attorney's DUI case
Intoxicated man with pellet gun climbs billboard's scaffold; is arrested
Police seek public's help in finding an armed man
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Kelly: A California university president returns to her Nebraska roots on Ivy Day
The main speaker at today's Ivy Day celebration at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln is a college president who grew up roping calves and earned her Ph.D. at the prestigious Oxford University in England.
Breaking Brad: Stuck in a claw machine? You get no Easter candy
I know of one kid in Lincoln who will be receiving a lump of coal from the Easter Bunny, just as soon as he's extricated from that bowling alley claw machine.
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Thursday was the last day of a Nebraska Legislature session. Before leaving town, legislators passed a bill to hold a lottery to hunt the Easter Bunny.
Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
Breaking Brad: How many MECA board members can we put in a luxury suite?
As a stunt at the Blue Man Group show, MECA board members are going to see how many people they can stuff into one luxury suite.
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