Breaking Brad: 'I'm A Boliever' tattoos could be political difference-maker -
Published Monday, September 23, 2013 at 12:01 am / Updated at 11:44 am
Breaking Brad: 'I'm A Boliever' tattoos could be political difference-maker

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* Derek Fey of Omaha won the Omaha Marathon in 2:35:53. With all the road construction in town, it took him two hours, 37 minutes to drive home.

* Omaha officials were going to close some city streets for the marathon, but they couldn't find any that weren't already closed.

* After finishing, Fey announced he is retiring from marathon running. If you've ever run a marathon, you know that of the 1,000 marathon entrants, about 950 others said the same thing.

* The Omaha Marathon course keeps getting easier, to attract more participants. At this rate, by 2022 you will be able to take the bus halfway.

* Beginning Monday, a section of the Keystone Trail near 72nd Street will be closed for repairs. We have bottomed out. Now you can't go hiking in Omaha without encountering orange barrels.

* Many are trying to capitalize on the newfound popularity of Nebraska's football coach. Two gubernatorial candidates are planning to get “I'm A Boliever” tattoos.

* There is a new movement in college football. On Saturday, players from Northwestern, Georgia and Georgia Tech wore wristbands reading “APU,” which stands for “All Players United.” Except at Oklahoma State, where it stands for: “Alumni Pay Us.”

* The movement is APU. Bo Pelini calls it APFU.

* The Republican-led U.S. Congress voted to reduce the food stamp program. Republicans are targeting those on food stamps, the Obama administration is targeting the wealthy, and both appear focused on completely destroying the shrinking middle class. So it looks like Washington has it covered.

* The U.S. Congress voted to reduce the food-stamp program by five percent. This, after members of Congress realized not one person on food stamps has ever made a six-figure donation to their re-election campaigns.

* It looks like there may be a government shutdown unless Democrats and Republicans in the House and Senate can agree on a stopgap measure. If you follow politics closely, you know there are better odds of pigs flying over the Pentagon.

* Democrats and Republicans in the House and Senate must agree to stave off a government shutdown. To get the odds of this happening, figure the odds of winning last week's $400 million Powerball lottery and then double 'em.

* There are better odds of getting hit by lightning while being attacked by a shark.

* According to a new World Happiness Report, Canada is one of the six happiest nations in the world. Obviously the data was gathered during the Stanley Cup finals.

* The U.S. finished 17th in the happiness report, just behind Mexico. Do all those people coming across the border into the U.S. realize they're losing one spot on the happiness scale?

* A lady has been unofficially deemed the world's most polite person. She flew to New York City to pick up her award, and within two minutes of landing was cursing, spitting and flipping off cab drivers.

* Reportedly, Pippa Middleton may be secretly engaged. When he asked her to spend her life with him, Barbara Walters popped up in the back seat shouting: “She will! She will!”

* Mike Tyson has launched a career as a boxing promoter to try and restore the image of boxing. If this ex-con with the facial tattoo who once bit part of the ear off a competitor can't restore the image of boxing, who can?

* Professional golfer Pawel Japol shot a 109 in his opening round at the European Challenge event. Now millions of golfers around the world can legitimately say when asked: “My game? Oh, I'm playing like a pro.”

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

City Council OKs redevelopment plan for north downtown project
Inmate accused of partially tearing off another's testicles charged with assault
Police question suspected burglar; 12-year-old was home alone
Crew working to disassemble International Nutrition plant
Lawyer: Man had right to hand out religious fliers outside Pinnacle Bank Arena
Firefighters put out duplex blaze in N.W. Omaha
Woodmen request would take nearly $40M in valuation from tax rolls
Coffee with a Cop set for Thursday in Benson
In TV ad, Shane Osborn says Ben Sasse 'beholden to Washington'
Douglas County offices accepting credit, debit cards
Teen killed in shooting at Benson's Gallagher Park
Ben Sasse raises more money than U.S. Senate foes Shane Osborn and Sid Dinsdale
Parched Omaha soil soaks up record precipitation
Engineering student harnesses girl power, starts engineering-science club at Gomez Elementary
WB Dodge Street lane closed
Ex-Omaha Mayor Hal Daub endorses Shane Osborn for U.S. Senate seat
New Doane College program promises free tuition for first class
No more last-minute hiring of Omaha Public Schools teachers
Database: How much did Medicare pay your doctor?
New public employee pay data: Douglas, Lancaster, Sarpy Counties, plus utilities
Lunar eclipse was visible in the Omaha area
2 arrested in west Omaha hotel TV thefts
You can tape a cable TV access show at new city-built studio in Omaha
Nancy's Almanac, April 15, 2014: Where did snow, rain fall?
Bellevue man gets 25 years in Mills County sex abuse case
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Breaking Brad: What do the moon, Colorado senators have in common?
How about that "blood red" moon Monday? It was as red as the eyes of a Colorado legislator.
Breaking Brad: Hey, Republicans, are you ready to be audited?
A quick list of audit red flags: 3) You fail to sign your return. 2) You fail to report income. 1) You are a registered Republican.
Breaking Brad: Next year, Bo Pelini brings a mountain lion to the spring game
Before the spring game, Bo Pelini carried a cat onto the field. With Bo's personality, it'd have been more appropriate for him to carry a mountain lion.
Breaking Brad: Bo Pelini's cat lets spring game intro go to its head
Coach Bo Pelini took the field before the spring game holding a cat aloft. Typical cat. He was undoubtedly thinking, “Sixty thousand people, all cheering for me!”
Kelly: 3 former Nebraskans all take seats at the table of international diplomacy
Three former residents of the Cornhusker State are working together at the U.S. Embassy in Paris, and one took part in a recent high-level meeting about Ukraine.
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