Dear Annie: I have been with my husband for 19 years, married for nine. I love him and never had any serious issues with our marriage until four months ago. That’s when I discovered that my husband was having an affair. He’s been lying to me about it for nearly three years, telling me his work schedule changed. We sought marriage counseling, but he wouldn’t go back after the first session.
He knows I have all of the details of his relationship with this woman. He says he’s trying to work on our marriage, but I am not sure he is sincere. I thought I could trust him, and he ripped my heart out.
Annie, I have processed all of the disappointments and believe I can move on. But my husband says he wants to save our marriage. I don’t want to set myself up to be hurt like this again. What should I do?
-- Need a Word of Truth from Him
Dear Need: A man who truly wants to save his marriage would go back with you for counseling, work on the hard issues for as long as it takes and be completely transparent in all his dealings so you can learn to trust him again. Tell him that’s the deal if he wants you to stay. If he is unwilling to take those steps, it means he is not ready to change the mindset and behavior that led to the affair. We hope he will agree to do the necessary work. If not, please see a good lawyer and get counseling on your own to help prepare you for the next step.
Dear Annie: A few of your readers have written saying that restaurant etiquette has flown the coop. Well, here’s my gripe:
Nothing bothers me more than watching an adult place a diapered infant on the table. There is nothing separating that diaper from the dishes. Restaurant tables are barely swept of crumbs before another customer sits down. I can only imagine what might leak out of that infant. Ewwwwww.
Dear M.L.: There’s worse. We’re sure to hear from readers who have witnessed infants being changed on the table while patrons were eating around them. We know parents appreciate those restroom facilities that are not only clean, but provide changing tables for just this purpose. There are also foldable, portable, washable changing pads that parents can bring with them and use anywhere (other than a restaurant table, please).
Dear Annie: This is a response to the letter from “Feeling Sorry in Vermont,” who was concerned about the teenage children who cannot read or write in cursive. Here’s an update for her: Cursive writing is no longer being taught in most schools in my state.
The teachers in our community who teach writing are upset and angry about this. It means these children will not have a signature. Major documents that include “print and sign” will soon simply say “print and print.”
-- Champs Mom
Dear Champs: A lot of people are upset that cursive writing seems to be going the way of the dinosaur. We find cursive useful. But a lot of skills have gone by the wayside over the years. Remember all those guys who could flip open a car hood and repair the engine? Try doing that now. Handwriting is being replaced by keyboards, which will soon enough be replaced by dictation software. One’s “signature” is likely to be a thumbprint or a retinal scan. Time marches on.
Contact the writer: firstname.lastname@example.org