Breaking Brad: On Bo Pelini's mouth and Taylor Martinez's toe -
Published Wednesday, September 18, 2013 at 10:40 am / Updated at 11:03 am
Breaking Brad: On Bo Pelini's mouth and Taylor Martinez's toe

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's morning edition. Check back this afternoon for more jokes from Brad.

* UNL Chancellor Harvey Perlman delivered his annual State of the University speech Tuesday. The guy standing and applauding for 15 minutes at the end? Coach Bo Pelini.

* On the Pelini audiotape: Perlman said he's disappointed, A.D. Shawn Eichorst released a statement saying he's “disheartened,” and members of the Nebraska Board of Regents are too busy cutting funding for UNO to comment.

* I'll be looking for subtle signs that Pelini is upset with the media. For example, on Saturday, if he only gives the sideline reporter 1.1 seconds of his time instead of the normal 2.4 seconds.

* When experts said Pelini would return Nebraska football to the national spotlight, I'm not sure this is what they meant.

* There are a few questions going into Saturday's game with South Dakota State. Well, just who will coach the team and who will be playing quarterback.

* The U.S. Labor Department is expecting a jobs boost due to all the extra censors hired by BTN for its next Bo Pelini interview.

* Bob Kerrey has sold the Omaha home he bought last year. Kerrey said it's a beautiful house on the inside -- probably.

* The new Jean Stothert-Mike McDonnell exit agreement contains a joint non-disparagement agreement in effect through Dec. 21. Can we just schedule the dueling press conferences for 8 a.m. Dec 22 right now?

* MECA board member Jamie Gutierrez Mora is resigning. I guess those 90-minute commutes for meetings were too much.

* The Nebraska Public Power District is facing criticism for spending $5,250 to fly four executives to a conference in Arizona. OPPD spent about $510 to fly two executives to the same conference. When you make OPPD's money management skills look good, that's a new low.

* Considering the budget problems in Omaha, the OPPD executives were just glad they weren't riding a bus.

* A new Sarpy County draft ordinance would ban public nudity. This comes on the heels of Papillion getting its first Dunkin' Donuts. Coincidence? I think not.

* Rush Limbaugh has written a children's book called “Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims: Time-Travel Adventures With Exceptional Americans” that's due out this fall. Most young readers today should make it halfway through the title.

* It's a great bedtime story. By the time you finish reading the title, most kids will be asleep.

Want more Brad? Scroll through his author archive here.

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

U.S. Senate candidate Bart McLeay trails his 3 GOP rivals in fundraising
86-year-old Holdrege man killed in weekend collision
New police gang intervention specialist knows firsthand about getting involved with wrong crowd
Teen who worked as a cook is killed in shooting at Benson's Gallagher Park
Finally. Spring expected to return. No, really: Warmer-than-average weather in forecast
Four, including Omahan, vie for police chief position in Council Bluffs
Woodmen request would take nearly $40M in valuation from tax rolls
In TV ad, Shane Osborn says Ben Sasse 'beholden to Washington'
City Council OKs redevelopment plan for north downtown project
Rather than doing $250K in repairs, owner who lives in lot behind 94-year-old house in Dundee razes it
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Home alone: When burglar broke in, 12-year-old locked herself in bathroom, called 911
High school slam poets don't just recite verses, 'they leave their hearts beating on the stage'
Ben Sasse raises more money than U.S. Senate foes Shane Osborn and Sid Dinsdale
Sweet deal on suite use has MECA board looking at written rules
Inmate accused of partially tearing off another's testicles charged with assault
Crew working to disassemble International Nutrition plant
Lawyer: Man had right to hand out religious fliers outside Pinnacle Bank Arena
Firefighters put out duplex blaze in N.W. Omaha
Coffee with a Cop set for Thursday in Benson
Douglas County offices accepting credit, debit cards
Parched Omaha soil soaks up record precipitation
Engineering student harnesses girl power, starts engineering-science club at Gomez Elementary
WB Dodge Street lane closed
Ex-Omaha Mayor Hal Daub endorses Shane Osborn for U.S. Senate seat
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Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Jessica Lutton Bedient was killed by a drunken driver at age 26 in 2010. Thursday, the widowed husband and other family members will gather with others at the University of Nebraska at Omaha to dedicate a permanent memorial to Jessica.
Breaking Brad: What do the moon, Colorado senators have in common?
How about that "blood red" moon Monday? It was as red as the eyes of a Colorado legislator.
Breaking Brad: Hey, Republicans, are you ready to be audited?
A quick list of audit red flags: 3) You fail to sign your return. 2) You fail to report income. 1) You are a registered Republican.
Breaking Brad: Next year, Bo Pelini brings a mountain lion to the spring game
Before the spring game, Bo Pelini carried a cat onto the field. With Bo's personality, it'd have been more appropriate for him to carry a mountain lion.
Breaking Brad: Bo Pelini's cat lets spring game intro go to its head
Coach Bo Pelini took the field before the spring game holding a cat aloft. Typical cat. He was undoubtedly thinking, “Sixty thousand people, all cheering for me!”
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