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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.
* Coach Bo Pelini said he met briefly with A.D. Shawn Eichorst on Monday. The talk with Bo was so brief, Eichorst said he feels like a TV sideline reporter.
* On Monday, MECA board member Jamie Gutierrez Mora canceled a scheduled meeting with Mayor Jean Stothert. Can't say I blame Gutierrez Mora. Who wants to drive that far from home for a dumb meeting?
* Two pet gibbons were reported stolen from a home in Doniphan, Neb. Haven't there been enough Bigfoot sightings in Nebraska without this?
* If the thieves stay local, they should be easy to apprehend. I'm basing this on my keen, intuitive hunch that there cannot be more than 25 or 30 gibbons in the Doniphan area.
* In Italy, the "world's smallest pony" is reportedly being held for ransom. I believe he was taken by the "world's lamest kidnappers."
* The enormous cruise ship Costa Concordia has been raised to an upright position. I saw it happening and, at first, mistook it for the most expensive "Gilligan's Island" Me-TV promo yet.
* Omaha commuters are dealing with a road resurfacing project on Dodge Street from 29th to 52nd Streets that's expected to last eight weeks. Longtime Omahans realize that, much like dog years, “8 weeks” works out to about three years, four months in actual time.
* Not worry -- road crews are rushing to finish the work by winter, so commuters will be able to get stuck in the Dodge Street snow.
* Former Husker Kris Brown owns a new Dunkin' Donuts franchise in Omaha. It's a lot of fun to pull up to the drive-thru and have him kick the donuts into your car through your open window.
* Monday marked the fifth anniversary of the world financial crisis. There was a ceremony where everything we've learned was unveiled on the head of a pin.
* A new season of “Dancing with the Stars” kicked off Monday night. This year, there is actually something important on the line. Instead of a Mirror Ball Trophy, the winning celebrity will be granted a 16th minute of fame.
* President Obama has said his wife, Michelle, opposes intervention in Syria. Instead of military intervention, Mrs. Obama prefers a plan where all war is avoided because the entire world is doing jumping jacks.
* LeBron James has married his longtime girlfriend. In the vows, LeBron promised to show her the kind of loyalty he never showed Cleveland.
* This is pretty embarrassing: ESPN cut away from an overtime college football game to air LeBron's wedding.