Breaking Brad: Some people like the taste of their own beard - Omaha.com
Published Friday, September 13, 2013 at 1:16 pm / Updated at 1:46 pm
Breaking Brad: Some people like the taste of their own beard

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* House Speaker John Boehner said he was "insulted" by Vladimir Putin's New York Times op-ed. I'm trying to confirm Boehner also said if he wanted to feel insulted, he'd just attend any meeting of House Republicans questioning his leadership.

* Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is setting some rigid conditions for the U.S. before he will consider destroying chemical weapons. OK, for starters, we have to cancel "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."

* Thirty-six years after it was launched, Voyager 1 has likely reached the end of our solar system, 11.5 billion miles from the sun. Right before exiting the solar system, it passed the legal residence of a member of the MECA Board.

* You know what we call it when you travel 11.5 billion miles in Omaha? "The Dodge Street detour."

* Twitter has filed for an initial public offering. I'm not so sure I want to risk my life savings betting on a company built around the success of Faux Bo Pelini and Not The Real Carrot Top.

* Due to a glitch on the United Airlines' website, passengers were booking flights for $5 on Thursday. With all the new add-on fees, I believe this is what's know as "airline karma."

* Elisabeth Hasselbeck makes her Fox News debut on Monday, which means someone else on Fox News should be able to get a word in edgewise late on Tuesday.

* There's a frightening new short film demonstrating every vice and immoral activity in the world. No, wait, that's the new Miley Cyrus video.

* After last week's game, Bo Pelini reportedly told his players in regards to UCLA: We owe them one. Which isn't as bad as the $2.1 million Nebraska owed Southern Miss.

* Johnny Manziel is on the cover of Time magazine. He should be keeping a low profile where no one can see him -- say, the cover of Newsweek.

* On Saturday, Texas A&M hopes for a signature win against Alabama. I'll pause while readers think up their own Johnny Manziel jokes.

* After Washington lost to the Philadelphia Eagles, a Redskins fan had to eat his own beard. How is it that this guy is not serving in Congress?

* The International Olympic Committee narrowly voted to reinstate wrestling into the 2020 Olympic Games, with wrestling edging baseball and squash. Good news for wrestlers: You're back in the Olympics. Bad news for wrestlers: The IOC thinks you're slightly more important than squash.

Also from Brad: Hey, Millard kids, put your clothes on!

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson

brad.dickson@owh.com    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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