Breaking Brad: Some people like the taste of their own beard -
Published Friday, September 13, 2013 at 1:16 pm / Updated at 1:46 pm
Breaking Brad: Some people like the taste of their own beard

Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad," appears daily on and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his past columns at and follow him on Twitter.

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Brad's afternoon edition. Click here to read Brad's morning jokes.

* House Speaker John Boehner said he was "insulted" by Vladimir Putin's New York Times op-ed. I'm trying to confirm Boehner also said if he wanted to feel insulted, he'd just attend any meeting of House Republicans questioning his leadership.

* Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is setting some rigid conditions for the U.S. before he will consider destroying chemical weapons. OK, for starters, we have to cancel "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."

* Thirty-six years after it was launched, Voyager 1 has likely reached the end of our solar system, 11.5 billion miles from the sun. Right before exiting the solar system, it passed the legal residence of a member of the MECA Board.

* You know what we call it when you travel 11.5 billion miles in Omaha? "The Dodge Street detour."

* Twitter has filed for an initial public offering. I'm not so sure I want to risk my life savings betting on a company built around the success of Faux Bo Pelini and Not The Real Carrot Top.

* Due to a glitch on the United Airlines' website, passengers were booking flights for $5 on Thursday. With all the new add-on fees, I believe this is what's know as "airline karma."

* Elisabeth Hasselbeck makes her Fox News debut on Monday, which means someone else on Fox News should be able to get a word in edgewise late on Tuesday.

* There's a frightening new short film demonstrating every vice and immoral activity in the world. No, wait, that's the new Miley Cyrus video.

* After last week's game, Bo Pelini reportedly told his players in regards to UCLA: We owe them one. Which isn't as bad as the $2.1 million Nebraska owed Southern Miss.

* Johnny Manziel is on the cover of Time magazine. He should be keeping a low profile where no one can see him -- say, the cover of Newsweek.

* On Saturday, Texas A&M hopes for a signature win against Alabama. I'll pause while readers think up their own Johnny Manziel jokes.

* After Washington lost to the Philadelphia Eagles, a Redskins fan had to eat his own beard. How is it that this guy is not serving in Congress?

* The International Olympic Committee narrowly voted to reinstate wrestling into the 2020 Olympic Games, with wrestling edging baseball and squash. Good news for wrestlers: You're back in the Olympics. Bad news for wrestlers: The IOC thinks you're slightly more important than squash.

Also from Brad: Hey, Millard kids, put your clothes on!

Contact the writer: Brad Dickson    |   402-444-1019    |  

Brad comments in a funny way on topical events in the news and the wide world of sports.

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Breaking Brad: At least my kid never got stuck inside a claw machine
We need a new rule in Lincoln. If your kid is discovered inside the claw machine at a bowling alley, you are forever barred from being nominated for "Mother of the Year."
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Kelly: Creighton's McDermotts put good faces on an Omaha tradition
A comical roast Wednesday night in Omaha brought fans of Creighton basketball laughter by the bucketful. This time it was McJokes, not McBuckets, that entertained the Bluejay crowd.
Kelly: New $24M UNO center embodies spirit of newlywed crash victim
Jessica Lutton Bedient was killed by a drunken driver at age 26 in 2010. Thursday, the widowed husband and other family members will gather with others at the University of Nebraska at Omaha to dedicate a permanent memorial to Jessica.
Breaking Brad: How much would you pay for a corn dog?
The Arizona Diamondbacks have a new concession item: a $25 corn dog. For that kind of money, it should be stuffed with Bitcoin.
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